Happy Sunday everyone! Hope you’re all having a wonderful day! I’m still unpacking, reorganizing, moving shit around… oh, the joys of moving! We’re also preparing to carve pumpkins (shh… don’t tell anyone, but I think I might love Halloween more than most kids!)
Balti K is my beta on this one & she’s the bestest!
Disclaimer – I don’t own any of these characters, Charlaine Harris and Alan Ball do – but it’s fun to pretend, isn’t it?!
I walked into the main bar area and was less than thrilled to discover we were seriously lacking in patrons presently. Not a single paying customer, no human heartbeat to be heard in my bar. Even considering the fuckery earlier with Russell, the bar should have been long opened and full of paying customers; especially now that the AVL had announced Russell’s demise, hopefully easing the minds of our human customers.
“Why is my bar closed for business?” I demanded of Pam, though I had little doubt the cause of my concern was the asshat currently seated in my throne.
“Because I ordered it to be so, subject,” Bill stated with a smug smile.
“Hard to pay you tribute, oh wise King, if my cash cow is closed… wouldn’t you agree?” He was such a fucking moron! Not only did I want to wipe the smirk from his face, but I had the nearly overpowering urge to rip his tongue out as well. Truly, I fucking hated that bastard.
“Hmm…” the petulant little fuck hummed. “That is your problem, is it not? I care very little of how you pay me, so long as you do.”
“He really is a cum-guzzling, thunder-cunt, isn’t he?” my progeny said in Cambodian. For the first time in my existence, I was nearly unable to contain my laughter.
“That name is reserved for filthy, weak-minded, females too dirty for even us to fuck, is it not?” I questioned, maintaining the foreign tongue so Bill wouldn’t understand us.
Pam raised her perfectly plucked eyebrow at me. “Hmmm. Never mind, I see your point,” I acceded. Billy-boy really was just a little bitch with fucked up sideburns.
“Well, I’m here, responding to your summons. What do you want, Bill?” I asked, ignoring his irritation at Pam and I carrying on a private conversation in front of him.
“I want to know what happened to my Sookeh!” he bellowed, his mood darkening instantly from mild annoyance to pure fury. His Sookie? Delusional motherfucker! I found myself wondering absently if decapitating a reigning monarch in punishment for butchering her name would be considered a no-no? I guessed it probably would. Fucking rules!
“I have no idea what you mean,” I began. “Though, if memory serves, she told you plainly to never contact her again, only a few hours ago. Did she not?” I simply could not resist rubbing it in. By the gods, how I fucking hated him!
“She was upset when she said that,” he defended pointlessly. “Besides, we both know that Sookeh loves me. It is only a matter of time before I’m able to convince her that she’s forgiven me.” I might very well have to kill him before the night was through. If he didn’t stop with that smile that implied his superiority over me, staking him would be too fast a death.
“Whatever you need to tell yourself to sleep at dawn, Billy-boy,” I said while taking a seat, putting my feet on the table facing him. It wasn’t a blatant fuck you, but it was a subtle sign of my disrespect.
“I am your king now, Sheriff. Do not disrespect me with your petty nicknames,” he commanded in what I was sure he thought was a menacing tone; I found it laughable, but nodded my agreement to placate him.
“Besides,” he continued. “I fear that something has happened to Sookeh; I can no longer feel her, or trace her location. I was wondering if you were able to sense anything from her still?” he asked with hope in his beady little eyes.
“I cannot say for certain what has happened to her. Our tentative bond changed after she kicked me off her porch,” I said smoothly. No need to give him the details of just how much it changed quite yet.
“I see. That is most unfortunate.”
“What is it you want with her anyway?” I inquired. “Even if you could find her, she will not soon forgive you for your treachery. You saw how angry she was. And beyond that, how truly hurt she was,” I paused to snort, a very unlikely characteristic for myself though I couldn’t help it. Hell, that woman was rubbing off on me! “I may not be as willing to play the role of touchy-feely human you are, but even I could see her heart was broken tonight.”
“Sookeh is mine!” he stated as if it were the most obvious thing on the planet. “She belongs to me, whether she wants to or not.” I raised my eyebrow at him for clarification.
“I had no intention of ever giving her to the Queen. That much of what I told her tonight was true, but I also have no intention of relinquishing my claim on her, under any circumstances,” his sneer was so lascivious it almost offended me. “That sweet pussy, her ambrosia blood… those are mine and mine alone! Especially now that I know I can use her as a sunblock of sorts on occasion, provided of course I never end up accidently draining her as I almost did in Mississippi,” he mused, trailing off at the end, as if to remind himself of things he shouldn’t do.
There were no doubts about it now… I was going to kill him. I was going to positively annihilate him in the most painful and gruesome of ways, and I was going to do it in the very near future, whether I desired to be king or not.
Had it not been for the centuries I spent perfecting my self control, I wouldn’t have been able to restrain the deep growl that bubbled within my chest. But still I held it back somehow and bit out, “Strange way to speak of someone you profess to love, isn’t it, majesty?”
Suddenly, I could feel Sookie’s rage spike. I had been feeling her temper steadily rising as I spoke with this fucknut, which reminded me her senses were heightened due to the ingestion of my blood. Sookie could hear every word we were saying and she was certainly not amused.
Sookie, my love, I need you to stay in the office for just a little longer. Do not endanger us by letting the cat out of the bag too quickly, I pleaded with my mind.
Fine. But I’m gonna string him up by his droopy, hairy little balls if he don’t watch who the fuck he’s talkin’ so dirty about! I snickered aloud at that. I truly couldn’t help it. Unfortunately, no one else was talking, so I looked like a complete moron.
“Something funny, Eric?”
He and Pam were both looking at me like an escapee from the nearest mental institution. “Yes, actually. The thought of you, bloody tears running down your face as you professed your undying love for her, only to now speak of her as if she were a common fangbanger.” Truly, I wanted to choke the life from him; no matter that it wouldn’t actually kill him, I would still enjoy attempting to do so greatly!
“She is more than a fangbanger, and I do love her – as much as one of us can love a human – but her blood and body are mine. I will not share either, nor will I give them up, period.” He rose out of my throne and approached me where I sat, doing his best to look intimidating but failing miserably.
I rose to my full height, towering over the insufferable idiot; I could squash him like a bug with the flick of my wrist. Did he really think he could intimidate me?
“Sheriff Northman, as the King of Louisiana, I command you to hand over my human.”
“King or no King, Bill, humans only belong to you by their own say so, and she has revoked your ownership, so I am under no obligation to ‘hand her over’ to you. But be warned; if you try to harm Sookie Stackhouse you will need an army to keep me from taking my revenge on you,” I vowed, my voice full of menace.
“Good thing I have an army at my disposal then, isn’t it?” His evil smirk was barely noticed as the AVL soldiers began to fill my bar. I saw it coming, of course; it was simply inconvenient and vastly irritating.
Fucking Flannigan! That fucking bitch just had to join the party too? Perfect, tonight just kept getting better and better!
“Northman,” the infested cunt acknowledged me in her nasal voice that made me wish I were deaf. “The Authority insists that you turn Ms. Stackhouse over to the new King immediately.”
“Even if I knew where Sookie was, what makes you think I’d let Bill take her against her will?” I thought it was a perfectly valid question.
“Who gives a fuck what Compton wants her for?” Now that had that attention of both Bill and me. I had a sinking feeling that things were about to take a turn for the worst.
“I said the Authority insists, not Compton. He may want to keep your little fairy girlfriend for his own personal use, but I intend to make her life much more… meaningful.”
Bill and I glanced quickly at one another, both of us clearly hating the implied meaning behind that statement. He was the one to broach the subject with her however, “I thought you were going to help me procure her for my kingdom, Nan?” Bill began.
“You really think I’d let something that allows daywalking to stay here in backwoods fucking Louisiana?” her look was incredulous. “If you’re really that fucking foolish, well… I’m starting to rethink my decision in making you king, Bill.”
“But what would the Authority want with Sookie? And more importantly, how would they know of her sunblocking attributes?” Compton pressed.
“They don’t… yet.” Oh, how I looked forward to showing her exactly how stupid it was for her to reveal that tidbit! “But after how badly you two fucksticks, along with your worthless, weeping maker, ruined my reputation… well… let’s just say I’ll do anything necessary to get myself back into the good graces of the powers that be. Even if means offering up your precious barmaid as a public drinking fountain.”
My anger spiked to such a level, it was nearly consuming. Who the fuck did this bitch think she was? Insulting my maker in such a fashion! And threatening Sookie in the same breath? That fucking cunt need to die, now! The growl had barely left my throat before Sookie was standing at my side.
Well, so much for the element of surprise…
“You rotten bitch! How dare you speak of Godric that way! He was the most humane vampire I’ve ever met; he should be revered, not criticized by the likes of you!” my fiery angel raged.
“Do not presume to speak to me in such a way, Snookie. I am far older and much stronger than you, fairy hybrid or not. I will not hesitate to teach you some manners. I am not one of your lovesick puppies, mooning over you like these two pathetic morons,” she sneered.
“Listen here, missy… it’s Sookie not Snookie, and you won’t be teaching me anything! I’m not going anywhere to become some glorified sunshine vending machine for you and your bosses! I am staying here, with my mate!” Cat out of the bag or not, I couldn’t help but to be elated at her claiming of me as her mate! And hard, definitely hard… again.
Maybe I’d need a brace for my cock, instead of my neck… It had been up and down so often tonight, with only one release, I was sure it would soon be suffering ill effects. Oh, but how I loved to hear her fire, especially when not directed at me and in support of us.
“Your mate?!” both Compton and Flannigan exclaimed simultaneously.
If only I’d had a camera with me to capture the look on Bill’s face at hearing I was mated to his Sookeh! I’d enlarge it, frame it and hang it in every house I own – they would make lovely dart boards! Maybe I could pull something from the security camera footage. Too bad I no longer possessed the ability to piss, for that could be indescribably fun as well. Perhaps I should get a dog…
Eric, now? Sookie silently asked, rousing me from my less than mature thoughts.
“Yes, mates,” I said as I crushed the crystal, never removing it from my pocket.
There was a slight shimmer to the air as the crystal turned to dust in my grasp, though it would’ve been unnoticeable to anyone other than a Supe. But even a mere human wouldn’t have missed all the vampires in the bar instantly sniffing the air in long, drawn out breaths.
“You really are bonded mates, aren’t you?” Bill sounded as if we’d kicked his puppy; a sound I was quite enjoying.
“I don’t give two fucks if you’re bonded, mated, or pledged to the Guardian himself, Tinkerbelle! You and your nifty little microwave fingers, along with your sunblocking blood now belong to me,” Flannigan declared as she inclined her head at her guards, indicating they were to apprehend Sookie.
I was ready to pounce, and planned to eviscerate them all without a shred of remorse when Sookie put her hand on my arm, stopping me. I turned to her, my face surely incredulous, when my mate put my mind at ease with a simple smile before turning to address the toxic bitch in our midst.
I’d never seen a smile look so outwardly sweet to the unknowing victim, yet be laced with such venom to anyone that knew Sookie. “You will not be taking me anywhere, Nan. So I suggest you tell your goon squad to back the hell off!” Sookie’s ‘microwave fingers’ began to glow slightly. If Flannigan knew what was good for her, she’d heed the enraged hybrid’s warning…
“I don’t fucking think so, you backwater fairy bitch! You are my ticket into the inner sanctum of the AVL. I am not leaving without you.” And with those words, Nan sealed her fate.
Eric, can I flash fry this bitch and her goons now? Please?! Sookie pleaded using our connection. Gods, how I love that woman!
I know this was a slightly shorter chapter, but it seemed like a great place to end it. I hated Nan & was thrilled when they killed her off on the show. Wonder if she’ll meet roughly the same fate here?
And did anyone else want to kill Bill here? Hmmm….
Next update on Wednesday, see you then!
Love and hugs to all – thanks for taking this journey with me!