Next update will be on Sunday as scheduled. I’m still five chapters ahead, so I’m staying within my guidelines… yay me! LOL!
Special thanks to K for re-working this with me!
Disclaimer – I don’t own any of these characters, Charlaine Harris and Alan Ball do (even if we wish he didn’t sometimes).
“How do you feel about me, Sookie?” Again I found myself holding a breath I didn’t need as I awaited her reply.
“Well, before I can answer that, I have some questions for you. I’ll need you to be honest with me, Eric.” She gave me a stern look.
“Sookie, I will say it again: other than encouraging you into drinking a tiny smidgeon of my blood in Dallas, I have never lied to you. I will also say that while I cannot always tell you everything for various reasons, including both your safety and mine, I will never tell you a lie.” I paused briefly, weighing my words carefully. “I know that you are going to need some time after everything you’ve been through lately before you are able to trust freely again, my love. But I need for you to understand a few things. I will never put you in harm’s way without knowing with a thousand percent certainty that I can get you out of it; I wouldn’t have risked your life before we were bonded and there’s simply no way for me to do so now. To risk you now would be like risking part of my soul.”
I paused again, watching her face as my words sank in. Before I could continue, she interrupted me with an astute question.
“So, you giving me to Russell… you knew you’d be able to ensure my safety even though you thought you’d have to die to do so?” I was about to respond, but she suddenly gasped, “That is the second time you were willing to die for me, Eric,” her eyes went with that realization.
“Yes, it was, dear one. I really would die a thousand deaths if it meant you’d survive, Sookie. If you believe nothing else about me or my feelings for you, please believe this.” I squeezed her hand gently as I smiled at her. “And to answer your other question, yes, I knew without a doubt that you would survive my plan for Russell. Otherwise, I never could have turned you over to him.” I would have given Pam a Maker’s command not only forbidding her from killing Sookie, but to also safely remove her from the country prior to challenging the king. I knew I most likely wouldn’t be walking away from that fight, but it would have been a small price to pay as long as she survived.
“How could you be so sure, Eric?” I hated to answer that question, but I’d already committed to never lie to her.
“Sookie, do you understand what a Maker’s command is?” She shook her head no, so I continued. “Using this type of directive, your Maker can force you to do something you do not wish to. Now, this command could be for either virtuous or evil intentions, but the progeny has no choice but to obey regardless of intent.” I could see realization dawning on her face as something occurred to her.
“That’s why Godric said ‘I command it,’ when he wanted you to take shelter from the dawn?” Unable to speak, I simply nodded. “And is that why Lorena was able to secure Bill in the hotel room?”
“Well, my love, that part is a bit more complicated and I do not wish to cause you further pain.” I reached up to gently stroke her cheek, “Are you sure you wish to hear it?” I would always try to give her a choice whenever possible.
“Yes, I need to know, Eric,” she said with a cheerless smile.
“When a Maker releases their progeny they are no longer able to perform the Maker’s command… generally. However, in certain cases when a progeny willingly returns to their Maker’s side then they are once again subject to the command.” I could see this was confusing to her, so I tried another approach, wanting her to understand my world. “For example, I released Pam years ago, but asked her to return to me when I wanted to open Fangtasia. Since she willingly agreed to serve as my second and act as my progeny in every way, she is again subject to my command.”
Sookie nodded and I could see that she was trying to equate Bill’s situation in Dallas and at Russell’s mansion to what I was currently explaining regarding me and Pam. “So, then Bill must have agreed to stay in with her both times, right? Because he, as far as I know, never agreed to serve her again.”
I hated to see the anguish on her face, but she really did need to understand everything about her former lover if she was to survive what I believed to be coming. “Yes, to the best of my knowledge, Bill was still acting under his own agency in both Dallas and Mississippi. I truly am sorry, Sookie, that he would show so little concern for someone as precious as you.”
Her scoff at my comment regarding her worth brought back her bullshit from earlier. I raised an eyebrow at her to ask, “Precisely why, my love, would you think I couldn’t love ‘someone like you’? There is no someone like you, Sookie, you are utterly unique.” I meant those words as a compliment, but apparently she did not take them as such.
Her eyes narrowed and her voice became slightly shrill as she refuted, “Exactly, Eric. I’m a fucking freak. Unique is just another name for not normal! So I’ll ask again, why would you be interested in a freak?!”
In a flash I was off my chair and on my knees in front of her, cupping her delicate face in my large hands. “Do not ever let me hear you say something like that again, Sookie Stackhouse. Do you understand me?” I managed to grind out. I wasn’t really pissed at her, per se, but I was furious that the humans in this world had ostracized her to the extent she thought so little of herself at every turn.
Her eyes widened as if in fear and I realized that I needed to change my approach. I leaned in and pressed my lips to her forehead, lingering there for a moment before looking deeply into her eyes. “Sookie, my love, you are absolutely perfect. You are fiercely loyal, loving, trusting, kind, considerate, hell – you have more manners than a dozen Southern women put together. You give all of yourself to those around you and ask for very little in return. You put the needs of others before yourself, to a maddening degree, I might add. And while you are capable of incredible patience, you are also impetuous enough to keep even me on my toes.” I couldn’t help but smile, as she really did make my ass ache (love human slang, just love it).
I caressed her face with my thumbs as I held her, forcing her gently to maintain eye contact. “You are a warrior princess and the fairest maiden all at once. You are perfection, love and grace personified, Sookie. Do not let narrow minded humans and fucking Compton make you feel anything less than the goddess that you are!” I pressed my lips to hers for the briefest of moments, ever so lightly. “You are all I’ve ever wanted, all that I’ve waited a millennium for, my love.”
By the end of my impromptu speech, her eyes were glossy with tears threatening to spill over. My heart broke at her sadness.
“Eric, you can’t mean those things,” she whispered as a few tears cascaded down her cheeks.
“Sookie, I have never, in a thousand years, been more sincere! You are the most amazing creature I have ever encountered.” If I could, I would slaughter every single being that had ever made her doubt herself. How could she not see how amazing she was?
She was shaking her head, as much as my hands would allow, trying to express her disbelief. I couldn’t stop myself, I needed to hold her. I dropped my hands from her face and in a flash I had scooped her up out of the chair, sliding myself into it as I held her body tightly to mine. She was so feather light and fit so perfectly within my arms, it was like coming home. Her scent invaded my nostrils and for the briefest of moments I found myself picturing her legs around my waist in this position with me buried deep inside her. Not the fucking time, Northman, for the love of all that’s holy!
“How? How can you possibly mean all those wonderful things about me, Eric? You’re a Viking vampire sex god, who’s been on this earth for like ever, and I’m just a barmaid from some backwater town with a severe handicap! How could you love me?” She had started off mumbling against my neck, but as she continued to rant she began to sob. “You could, and do, have your pick of the most beautiful women on this earth. Fuck, even most men want to get in your pants. What could you possibly see in me?”
There was no helping the growl that escaped my throat, hearing her berate herself in such a fashion. “You DO NOT have a handicap, damnit! You are gifted and just moments ago laid waste to a plethora of the most deadly creatures in existence, and you did so in a matter of seconds while still leaving me alive.” I ranted. “Now granted, you almost killed yourself in the process but you’ll master your gifts in time.” I added as an afterthought as I moved my hands from around her waist to grip her perfect ass.
“This,” I squeezed her cheeks firmly but not hard enough to cause pain. “This is without a doubt the most perfect ass I have seen in all my years, even as a human. Your breasts are such perfection they should be insured for more than J-Lo’s ass and should be framed in the Louvre. Your tan skin, along with your perfectly curved legs, makes my mouth water constantly. Your gorgeous, expressive eyes render me speechless and when you smile… well, I swear to you, Sookie, it’s like my heart will beat again.”
I could feel her tears cascading down my neck as she listened to me. I risked her wrath when I pressed my painful erection against her center as I said in a low, raspy voice, “No one has ever affected me the way you do, Sookie Stackhouse.” She let out a small moan in response. “Every single thing about you arouses me more than I ever dreamed possible, and that’s saying something considering my sexual appetite.” She snorted against my neck, causing me to grin widely. “I long to see your waist expand, knowing it’s my seed that brought life to your womb, and it breaks me to know this could never be.”
I was a bit startled to hear those words tumble from my mouth; they were true of course, truer than I was comfortable admitting. Yet I never realized I felt this way until I uttered those words aloud.
“I love you, Sookie. I will continue to love you until I meet my true death, even if you choose not to honor this bond.” I paused to kiss her neck briefly as I gathered my thoughts. “I will not force you into anything, but I will protect you with all that I am whether you want me or not. I might not have understood the word love before I met you, but now that I do, the thought of being without you now is unimaginable. I’m yours, Sookie, in whatever way you’ll have me.”
A strangled sob escaped her small body, and in a move so fast it surprised even me, her lips crash against mine.
Important note about my story “Revelry” – I’ll be temporarily removing that from the site in a couple days, and I’m adding an author’s note as a chapter update to it today to let you all know about this. So when you see the update, please know it is not a new chapter yet. That story was my first attempt at writing and truly is a hot mess as far as tense and such. K and I are currently going back through it now. As much as I want to save all your reviews for the previous chapters of that story, I truly cannot continue it until I fix it. I swear to you, it is painful for me to read. I will be reposting it as soon as we get it all fixed up and the updates will be daily until we get to where it left off. By then I’ll have more chapters done and you can count on weekly updates (maybe two per week if we’re lucky). It’s the story I love the most out of all I’ve written, but it’s in need of some attention & I’m finally going to do it right.
In other news, I’ve come down with a stomach bug, so if I suck and don’t respond to your reviews as quickly as I normally do, it’s just because I’m a sick lil’ monkey today, not because I don’t love you all!
Love and hugs to all – thanks for taking this journey with me!