I decided to post early due to the overwhelming “uh-oh” type responses & the fact that it’s been a hell of a day! Small grease fire on the stove, kid home sick, disabled mom who lives with you sick again… needed a little pick me up – so here’s the update a day early. I won’t post tomorrow, but I will post on Sunday as scheduled.
I had an awful lot of folks ask me if Eric had PMS in the last chapter, lol! Well, it’s either that he did, or I did when I wrote it! He kinda tweaked a little there, didn’t he?! Here’s the resolution to their tiny tiff, hope you’ll like it.
FYI… Hotel Transylvania is one of the funniest movies I’ve seen in a while, so anyone with kids out there (or anyone without kids that still enjoys animated films) should certainly go see it. Hysterical.
Balti K makes the boo-boo’s go away, lol!
Disclaimer – I don’t own any of these characters, Charlaine Harris and Alan Ball do (even if we wish he didn’t sometimes).
I was amazed to find that there was an actual, physical ache that started the moment I left Sookie in the kitchen and it only seemed to amplify with every inch I put between us. It must to be the bond! I found myself suddenly praying that bonding sickness was simply a myth because if it was not… I was fucked; not for the first time that night and certainly not in the way I wanted.
I heard her calling for me just moments after I left the house; she must have sprinted to the door in order to call to me so quickly, but I just was not ready to deal with her yet.
What the fuck was I thinking? Falling in love with a human… the idea was fucking preposterous. I am vampire, a Viking vampire sex god, no less – I do not love humans, even if they are irresistible hybrids. Love?! If love means baring your soul to a woman who essentially spits in your face at every opportunity, who fucking needed it?!
I stopped about two miles from the house; I sat by the edge of the lake and tried to calm down. Water always had that effect on me, not surprising considering my heritage. Part of me, the logical detached part, really did understand her hesitation; that poor woman had been shunned and ostracized by almost everyone she had ever met. Then she fell in love for the first time, only to discover that her ‘love’ was a lying sack of shit who was only after her for personal gain. Add me to the mix, and I was sure I had been painted as the most evil of monsters by Compton, and that poor girl didn’t know what to do. Giving her more time to adjust is what I should have done, and I knew that. But by the gods, what about my adjustment?!
While I understood with perfect clarity that I’d been falling in love with Sookie for quite some time now, the fact was that I’d only just realized it consciously tonight and it was weighing heavily on me. I wasn’t prepared to love someone. I spent the first years of my vampire existence being told that we needed to suppress all human emotions, especially those of love. In many cases my very “life” has depended on my indifference, which I had worked hard to perfect. How was I supposed to cope with rectifying what had been ingrained into me for a thousand years with what I felt in my soul now? Didn’t she understand that it was not easy to just put aside everything I’d been taught for millennia in order to be with her?
Fuck! That woman infuriated me!
Didn’t she understand that even though I wouldn’t physically die when she did, I would long for it? The world and my existence would no longer hold any meaning if I were not with my mate! The bond only solidified the truth that I’d know instinctively since I first laid eyes on her – Sookie Stackhouse was my mate, not just my human, and much more than my bonded. There was such depth to my feelings and attachment to her, I didn’t know how I’d survive if she truly didn’t want to be with me. I would continue on for a time, but only so that I could ensure her own life and freedom. If she really could not love me, I would simply bide my time until her death came so that I might finally welcome mine.
I had felt her emotions as a constant undercurrent in my mind whilst mulling through my own. I’d been experiencing them since Dallas, but truth be told, the effect of her swirling emotions on me through our fresh bond was staggering. She had felt many things since I left the house, the most prevalent being remorse and guilt. Feeling those emotions coming from her gave me a small amount of hope, though I was not going to fan those flames right now. I simply couldn’t bear another round of rejection from my love.
How was I going to make things right with that woman? And more importantly, did I want to?
After a millisecond of consideration I was positive I wanted nothing more than to make things right with Sookie… the only question now, was how? I could not, and would not, go back to the safe house and grovel. For fuck’s sake, I was still walking around with cum-crusted pants! No further humiliation needed on my part, thanks!
I was pulled from my thoughts by a huge wave of longing and sadness that invaded my body; Sookie was either truly devastated or was trying to reach me. I was decidedly torn as to how to proceed. Fucking emotions! On one hand, I wanted to rush to her to make sure she was okay but on the other, I could not appear to be her lap dog. What to do…
When the next wave of emotions hit me, this time with added fear and panic, it was powerful enough to nearly cripple me momentarily. Sheer terror ripped through me at the thought my mate being in danger. I pulled myself into a standing position and rushed back towards the house. I’m coming, my love! Stay strong, I will protect you! I knew she wouldn’t hear me, but I couldn’t help but try to calm her.
I’d just begun sending waves of love and strength to her when I heard it.
Eric?! Oh my god, I heard you! Please hurry!
I took to the air and came dangerously close to breaking the sound barrier in my need to reach her. If someone was harming my Sookie, they would wish for death to save them from me. Since she heard me, I thought to try sending her something else. I’m almost there, my Sookie. Stay inside, don’t let anyone in. I’m coming!
I was literally seconds from touching down and could see her standing on the back patio. My rage spiked; how could she be standing outside unprotected? Did that woman possess no self preservations instincts at all?! I didn’t even bother to land before securing her. I simply scooped her up and flew us into the house, sending out a pulse to slam the back door closed. I proceeded with her in my arms to the secret door that accessed my private chamber; without releasing her, or saying a word, I breezed through the codes and scans and whisked her to safety.
She still hadn’t spoken a word, but judging by her emotions, I was assuming that she was simply too stunned to. I hadn’t fully released her yet, but was scanning her body for injuries as I turned on lights and ensured our safety. I only then realized that I still had no idea what the danger was. I didn’t smell anything out of place as I approached the property… how strange.
“Sookie, my love, are you alright?” I asked quietly as I took a seat on the couch, settling her into my lap.
“Mmhmm,” she mumbled quietly, nuzzling into my neck and shoulder.
“Who is attacking?” I was fully prepared to fight off almost anything; I just preferred to know what I was facing.
“Attacking?” she seemed genuinely confused.
“Yes, dear one. I felt your fear; it was almost crippling. What attacked you?” I rearranged her in my lap, wrapping her securely in my arms, still unable to let her go.
“Oh…” she mumbled. I could both feel and see her embarrassment.
“Sookie, whatever it is, you can tell me. There’s nothing to be ashamed of, not between us.” I cooed as I rubbed her back.
“Umm… well, you see…” she stammered.
There was nothing I could think to say at that moment to encourage her, so I simply rubbed her back and waited for her to explain. I may, or may not, have been nuzzling her neck and hair as well… but that was irrelevant and should be completely ignored.
She took a deep breath and let out a quiet sigh. “There was no one attacking. At first I was terribly upset that you left me, but then I had the strangest pain in my chest and it wasn’t like what they say a heart attack feels like.” She paused so I jumped in.
“I fear that might be bonding sickness, Sookie.” When I felt her confusion, I rushed to explain before she could ask. “I had always believed it was a myth, but I am beginning to think it is not. Bonding sickness is what occurs when true mates are separated physically from one another.”
“Aren’t all bonded pairs mates as well?” My girl certainly did think well on her feet.
“No, they certainly are not.” I drew in an unnecessary breath. “In fact, most vampires never find their true mate. Sometimes the mate is human and dies before the vampire can find them, or sometimes the vampire or their mate is staked. Maybe they are on opposite ends of the world. Even though we live forever, it doesn’t mean that our mate didn’t die before or after we were turned. Immortality never guarantees true love or happiness.”
“I guess I never thought of it that way. It makes sense though, I guess. I hadn’t thought much about it before now.” A strange mix of emotions flooded the bond as she stiffened in my arms.
“What is it, min kärlek?”
“Eric, if we are having bonding sickness, does that mean… does it mean we are true mates?” she asked quietly.
I could feel that she was both hopeful and fearful of my response. “Yes, Sookie, I believe it does.” I was shocked to discover both happiness and fear washing over her simultaneously.
“Are you alright with that? I’m sorry to say that if you’re not, there’s not much I can do to change it,” I paused briefly. “Nor would I want to” I added in the softest whisper.
“To be honest, I don’t know what I am right now, Eric,” she paused and drew in a shaky breath. “I’m pissed and heartbroken about Bill, that’s for damn sure. I can’t believe I was stupid enough to trust him.” Her anger was palpable, as well as completely justified.
Fuck! I still have to tell her my suspicions about Compton. “When we are done with this part of the conversation, I fear there is still much more for us to discuss,” I told her somberly.
She nodded her understanding before continuing. “I’m also really freaked out about the fairies. But mostly, Eric, I’m sorry that I hurt you earlier. That’s what you were feeling from me… well, that and the panic that I’d pushed you away for good.”
I was astounded at how happy that little revelation made me feel.
“I know I never answered your question in the kitchen earlier, but I was overwhelmed, Eric. So much has changed for me so quickly.” She snuggled deeper into my chest and I was more than happy to engulf her in my arms.
“I know it has, my love, and I’m sorry that I didn’t take that into consideration before losing my temper…” She didn’t give me a chance to finish.
“No! Eric, this has to be horrifying for you! Loving one of the vermin?” She must have felt my anger spike, because she rushed to clarify. “I know you don’t see me as a fangbanger, Eric, that’s not what I meant. I mean that you’ve spent an eternity viewing humans as lesser beings and now you’re in love with one.”
I squeezed her just a little tighter and purred, “Truly, I am.”
“I can feel it,” she kissed my throat gently, sending shockwaves through my body. “Eric, what do you feel from me?”
It was as if a gate was thrown wide open and suddenly I was overwhelmed with her emotions. Trust, comfort, joy, curiosity, lust, hunger… there was still some sorrow and confusion, along with apprehension. The most delicious emotion she was sending me however was flashes of love. Her love for me at that moment was nowhere near as intense as the feelings I harbored for her, but it was certainly a good start.
“I feel that this is just the beginning, my love.”
Our couple hearing each other psychically is not a new concept, but hopefully my spin on it will be different enough to not be boring. I have no idea what author thought of it originally, but whoever you are… you are brilliant and we all thank you!
Love and hugs to all – thanks for taking this journey with me!