Anymore

When Elena wakes up in transition after drowning, and the things she was compelled to forget are recovered, will she still be able to deny her feelings for Damon? Post season 3 finale. Rated M for language and lemons. *Complete*Vampire Diaries

I heard this song on the radio the other day as I was flipping through channels. I know country music isn’t something Damon and Elena are likely to listen to, but the lyrics still made me think of her after waking as a vampire. Would she be able to deny her feelings for the elder brother once his compulsion was gone? I know this premise has been done a lot since the season ending, but here is my take on it.

Thanks to my beta, Balti K for being the awesome chicklet she really is!

Disclaimer: I don’t own these characters. They belong to L.J. Smith and the CW network. I just love me some Damon Salvatore & Ian Somerhalder.

Enjoy…

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Waking up on a morgue slab was certainly not an experience I would highly recommend to anyone. I was still wet, yet surprisingly not cold. For mere seconds, I guessed that the initial intake of air felt wrong because I had nearly drowned.

The second intake of breath told me I had drowned. Even though breathing still felt normal for the most part, my body didn’t truly need it. I liked it, I knew without a doubt I would continue to do it regularly… but I recognized now that I didn’t need it.

So this is what Damon and Stefan feel? This is what it felt like to be…

“Am I really dead?” I asked aloud, my voice shaking, not realizing anyone was there with me.

“Elena,” Stefan sighed, as broody as ever. Where did that come from? Before I could examine my snarky little thought, he continued. “Yes and no. You are in transition. You need to feed or…”

He didn’t need to finish that statement. I had seen what happened to Mr. Forbes; I knew I’d die if I didn’t feed on human blood reasonably soon. Though I had no idea exactly what kind of timetable we were working with, I was pretty sure I had roughly one day to decide.

I recalled standing on the mountaintop after Damon forced his blood on me, telling Stefan that I never wanted to be a vampire. I had meant it whole-heartedly too. At the time, I was a bit younger and far more naïve then than I was now. I had hated the idea that my choice was being taken away from me, even though I knew Damon did it out of love. I don’t think I knew then that he was actually in love with me; I thought it was more of a friendship type love. Perhaps it was more a “protect me for Stefan’s sake” kind of love. I knew differently now. He’d made it abundantly clear, on more than one occasion, how he felt. So now I understood why he couldn’t risk losing me back then – even if I had hated him then for taking away my choice in the matter.

My thoughts were interrupted by Stefan’s quiet voice. “Elena, I know this is confusing for you, but I’m here for you. I won’t let him hurt you again,” he vowed with a little more fire in his voice.

Him? Him who? What the hell was he talking about?

The confusion I felt must have shown on my face, because Stefan offered only one word as explanation, “Damon.”

“What are you talking about, Stefan? Damon didn’t do anything to me!” He wasn’t even in town when I went off the damn bridge. I left him to die alone and chose to come back here to Stefan and the rest of my friends. Oh my God!

“Damon!” I exclaimed, shocked by the sudden tightening in my chest. “Is he okay? Where is he?” I nearly screamed at my boyfriend.

I heard Damon suddenly from somewhere fairly close by, and the vice on my chest instantly released. He seemed to be yelling at someone. Demanding, “Where is she?!” I could only assume I was the she…

Moments later he burst through the morgue doors, his face twisted in a mask of rage and pain. His glare was murderous when his eyes reached his brother.

“What the fuck happened, brother?” Damon seethed as he flashed to Stefan, lifting him off the ground by the throat. “You promised to protect her!” He bellowed loud enough to shake the slab I rested on. “You swore to keep our girl safe!” Damon slammed him down with an incredible force onto the nearest slab, his back towards me. The slab creaked and seemed ready to give out under the assault.

I was too stunned to say anything, and apparently Damon hadn’t noticed I was awake and had begun the transition yet, because he continued his assault on Stefan without remorse. “You promised to protect her if she chose you! Fuck, you promised to protect her even if she didn’t! How could you let her die?!”

“She wasn’t supposed to die!” Stefan exclaimed, his voice rough from the pressure of Damon’s hand still wrapped around his throat.

“How could you even risk it?! Why the fuck would the world need another quarterback?” Damon shouted. “I’d have let that thing wearing Ric’s skin kill me a thousand times if it meant she’d survive!”

I had no idea what he was talking about. Did the Ric-thing go back to the storage facility to kill Damon? What the fuck did I miss while I was sleeping… dead… whatever?!

“Do you have any idea what it was like to watch him die in my arms?” Damon’s voice sounded more broken than I ever thought possible for him. I knew Ric’s death had been hard on him the first time, I could only imagine how awful it was to watch your best friend die twice.

But it was his next words that rocked me to my core. “To know I was only saved because she was dying? That I couldn’t be with her when she died?” A strangled sob left his throat and I couldn’t contain my gasp.

Damon instantly dropped Stefan and whirled to face me, his eyes wild as tears streamed down his cheeks. “Damon,” I whispered.

With exaggerated slowness he approached me, tears still falling freely. It almost seemed as if he expected me to disappear in a puff of smoke at any moment. I had propped myself up on my elbows upon waking, but as Damon neared I sat up fully and swung my legs over the table.

He came to a stop mere inches from me; I could feel warmth from him where our legs were almost touching. A part of me noted how odd this was, considering he really wasn’t warm, but the rest of my mind was solely focused on the look in his eyes. I wasn’t sure I’d ever been looked at with such… love.

He didn’t say anything as he reached up to gently cup my cheek in his palm; he simply stared into my eyes, obviously still afraid I was going to vanish. When his skin came into contact with mine, I was powerless to stop the gasp of shock that rocketed through me.

I was as if he’d burned me where we touched. I’d never felt anything like it. Even more amazing were the memories that suddenly flooded my mind.

Memories of Damon… Damon compelling me.

I instantly remembered his declaration of love in my bedroom along with his assertion he didn’t deserve me. The tear that rolled down his cheek as he wished I didn’t have to forget. The actual first time I met him – the night my parents died. A love that consumed me…

My recent conversation with Matt echoed in my ears, “The problem is Damon. When I’m with him, he just consumes me.” Holy shit!

“Damon,” my voice barely a whisper, “I remember.”

His hand fell from my face as if I’d tasered him. “That’s not possible, Elena,” he sounded as shocked as he looked. “You haven’t completed the transition yet, have you?” It was then I noticed the bag of blood in his other hand.

I guess I knew what Damon wanted me to do. As if there was ever a question about it.

“No,” I breathed.

He looked positively amazed that I could remember his compulsion, but instead of commenting further he simply held the bag out to me and asked, “Well?”

“I… I…” I sputtered. Smooth, Elena. “I need some time. I just… don’t know what I want.” His eyes flashed briefly before he tossed the bag onto the slab next to me.

“Well, now that’s not true at all, is it, Elena?” His face had gone hard, shutting himself off from me. “You knew exactly what you wanted when you left me to die alone in a fucking storage locker, didn’t you?” I flinched at his words.

“So don’t give me that shit now, okay?” he sneered. “You drink or you die. There is no door number three. Now, are you going to take a little sippy-sip by yourself? Or am I going to have to pour it down your throat?”

I didn’t doubt for an instant that he would. Apparently, neither did Stefan…

“Haven’t you taken enough from her?” my boyfriend shouted. “Forcing your blood on her at some point in the last twenty-four hours? Now you would take away her choice, all over again?!”

What was Stefan talking about? Damon didn’t give me any blood, Meredith did. I knew it right after she did. I was a little pissed at the time, but I understood. She said Ric wouldn’t have wanted me to die, especially so soon after he did – so she helped me.

Now, the only question was did Stefan really not know that? I had a hard time believing he didn’t, especially since it was one of the first things I had heard Meredith say to Damon when he arrived; so of course she told Stefan too, right? I mean, why else would he have been sitting there, waiting for me to wake up?

“What?!” Damon exclaimed in an exasperated tone. He had no more idea what his brother was talking about than I did.

“You! You made her drink your blood somehow!” He turned his eyes towards me. “Elena, I’m so sorry he did this to you. Again! He must have compelled you at some point to drink his blood,” he paused thoughtfully. “Maybe he thought he was protecting you again, but it didn’t work out very well, did it, brother?” he spat, turning back towards Damon.

“Stefan, what the hell are you talking about?” I began. “Damon didn’t give me any blood…” Unless… Was it Damon’s blood Meredith gave me?

I was cut off by Stefan’s placating tone, “Of course you wouldn’t think so, Babe. He compelled you.” Yup, that pissed me off!

I hopped off the slab with a speed I had previously been incapable of, stopping right in front of Stefan. “How dare you speak to me as if I’m an idiot? I’m not a child! Who the hell do you think you are?!” I seethed. “Let me make this a little clearer for you. Damon. Didn’t. Compel me! He didn’t make me drink his blood, compulsion or not! Moreover, even if he had compelled me, I would remember it now, just like I remember ever other time he has. Meredith helped me after I came into the hospital last night,” I paused to see his reaction. The flash of his eyes told me he knew this already and was now trying to find a way out of the mountain of shit he was in.

Damon must have seen it too. Instantly he was at my side and addressing Stefan. “Ha! You didn’t think she knew that, did you, baby bro?” I didn’t need to see his smirk. I could hear it in his voice. “You thought you could blame it all on me, didn’t you? Make me look like the big, bad vampire all over again, huh?”

Damon leaned forward and whispered in his brother’s ear, “Looks like you’re fucked now, Saint Stefan. And not in the ‘I’m happy in the pants’ kinda way.” He turned towards me and smiled. A strange and expectant sort of smile I hadn’t seen on him before.

I cocked my head at him in question, but he continued to address his brother instead of me, though his eyes never left mine. “She already chose you, bro. There was no reason to make me look bad. Unless… you’re worried that with an eternity ahead of her, you might not measure up?” His implication was clear, especially with the eye-thing he was currently sporting towards me.

He backed away from Stefan and turned his body to mine, cupping my cheek with his hand once more. “Drink the damn blood, Elena,” he commanded quietly. “I can’t lose you. Not now. Not ever.”

Damon dropped his hand from my face slowly and turned away after one last, longing look into my eyes. As he reached the door he added, “Come see me when you’re ready to talk about your new memories. Or anything measurable.”

I stood there stunned momentarily after his departure, thinking of everything Damon had compelled me to forget. My heart clenched at his sudden absence, as well as the love I felt from him in those rediscovered moments. But the rage I was feeling towards Stefan presently easily overrode any warm, fuzzy feelings I was experiencing for the elder Salvatore.

How could you?!” I exclaimed, whirling on Stefan. “How could you knowingly, falsely accuse him of forcing me? Damon has done nothing but protect me, at every turn, even when it meant sacrificing his own life!” I was beyond pissed. “How could you do something so despicable after all he sacrificed for you? He’s your brother!”

My impression of Damon had changed so much since I first met him. I’d once called him a “self-serving psychopath with no redeeming qualities,” but I’d never been more wrong. He was truly one of the most selfless people I’d ever met. Sure, he put on his dick persona in order to hide his good deeds more often than not – he didn’t want anyone to expect anything from him, as he made clear in that hotel room, but he was good nonetheless. He was good and kind, he cared for others and he loved so deeply it often crippled him.

And yet his own brother treated him like a monster more often than not. What was wrong with him? How could Stefan not see how much Damon loved him? How could he miss all that Damon had done to free him from Klaus? What it cost him for me to choose Stefan in what could have been their final moments? And yet Stefan was able to lie to my face, accusing his brother of unspeakable things, even after he’d won? What did that say about who my boyfriend really was?

What did my willingness to ignore Stefan’s flaws for so long say about me?

Stefan was the one who had attacked me, not Damon. Damon would cut off his own arm or even defang himself rather than hurt me. I knew this as surely as I lived and breathed. Well, maybe that was a poor analogy, given my current state – but still…

Stefan was the one who nearly drove me off the Wickery Bridge in order to get his revenge on Klaus. Damon would never! He would know instinctively what nearly dying on that bridge, the bridge where I nearly died alongside my parents, would do to my psyche; he would never hurt me so deeply. I had few doubts that if and when I did see Damon next, one of the first things from his mouth would be condolences on where I lost my life, considering the plethora of bad memories that bridge held for me. Stefan was far more a monster than Damon could ever hope to be… so what was it that made him my choice?

With each moment that ticked by, the answer to that question floated further and further from my grasp.

“Damon has done nothing but try to ruin my life!” Stefan cried, sound very much like a spoiled teenager, rather than a century-plus year old vampire. “Sure, he’s had a few shining moments lately, but all in all – he’s taken everything I’ve ever wanted!”

“Are you kidding me? Aren’t you the one who forced Damon to become a vampire in the first place, even knowing he never wanted this life? Plus, from what I understand, you’ve always been the golden boy. Everyone loved you more; your father, Katherine… me.”

That last admission tasted wrong in my mouth. I wasn’t so sure it was true anymore. I’d told Damon on the phone that things might’ve been different if I’d met him first instead of Stefan. But, I had met Damon first; I knew that now. I could say without question, had that meeting not been taken from me, I would never have given Stefan a second glance. Stefan had come along at a point when I needed someone, filling a void with his immortality, but Damon would have filled so much more than that right from the beginning had I not been compelled to forget.

My love for Stefan had eventually grown into an actual love for him, but in the beginning it was just infatuation. He could have been any attractive guy in the right place, at the right time, with an uncanny ability to live forever. How appealing was that so soon after the death of my parents?!

But with Damon… Damon had instantly captivated me. He made my heart race, my body flush, yet he brought a strange peace to me that had nothing to do with his lifespan. There was an instant, unyielding connection to Damon that I’d never experienced before, but he had compelled it away. And by the time we were reintroduced, Stefan had already poisoned me against him.

My mind reeled at these new memories and the feelings they evoked in me. My memory instantly flickered to the first time Damon told me he loved me. Even now, the image of him crying as he made me forget the thing he most wished me to know, broke my heart. With my memory now restored, I remember feeling overwhelming joy at his admission as well as the fear of him taking that precious memory from me. I had realized, just a second too late to stop him, that he planned to compel me before returning the necklace. For the briefest of moments, before the compulsion took hold, I was devastated that I wouldn’t be able to tell him I was falling in love with him too. Something else dawned on me now, something I would be sure to speak to him about in short order…

For now, “Stefan, I’m made a terrible mistake,” I began. There was no easy way to do this, but it was necessary. The man in front of me was not who I’d thought he was, and I had no interest in being with the person he actually was.

“Don’t…” his broken whisper began right before I cut him off.

“We’re done. I’m sorry, truly I am, but we don’t belong together anymore. Neither of us are the same people now that we were when we first met,” I didn’t want to hurt him, but he needed to hear the rest. “And, to be honest, Stefan, you terrify me. After all the horrible things you’ve said about Damon, you’ve behaved far worse than he ever has – especially towards me.”

The broken look on Stefan’s face hurt, it hurt like hell, but what I said was still true and we needed to face it. Stefan’s humanity was a façade, a mask he wore to make it through the day. Damon’s humanity was his truest feature, his truest asset, his biggest vulnerability. He wore a mask of indifference and cruelty to protect his heart, but in that heart – he was truly the kindest person.

We stood there, in the tiny hospital morgue, for a while longer. Stefan tried to defend himself and his actions, tried to prove that he was the more worthy of the two men, but it was no use. I had realized Stefan couldn’t hold a candle to Damon, in any capacity. And we weren’t even talking about what Damon was hoping to measure yet.

It took considerably longer than I wanted, but I was finally able to convince him there was truly no hope for us. Once again, Stefan proved himself more a monster than his brother. When I told Damon I chose Stefan, his heartbreak was evident in his voice, but he took the news graciously. Stefan on the other hand…

“Well, turns out you have more in common with Katherine than your face and current lack of a heartbeat. I never thought you the type, Elena, to play both of us. I’m sad to see how wrong I was,” he sneered at me. “I’ll honor my agreement and leave town since you chose Damon, but I’ll never forgive you. And when you realize how wrong you were, you’ll be lonely for an eternity because I will never get past this.”

He left without another word; no hug and no kiss. Truthfully, I was more than fine with his departure, just stunned at his lack of affection. It was better this way though. I was stunned as hell that he’d compare me to Katherine, then have the nerve to say he couldn’t “get past this” after all I’d forgiven him for, but in the end it didn’t matter. He didn’t matter. Picking up the blood bag, I exited the morgue.

It was time to go find Damon…

oooOooo

I stole a truck from a couple dropping off someone at the emergency room. Yeah, I know it was shitty, and completely out of character for me… well, the old me anyway. But I really needed to find Damon, and I could feel I was losing strength. Besides, I didn’t hurt anyone; I probably scared the hell out of them, but I did not hurt them. I’d return it to them eventually. But I wanted to wait to complete the transition until I was with Damon – to tell him my epiphany. So I threw the blood bag on the seat next to me and drove off.

I was about to change the channel on the radio, considering the people I stole the truck from listened to country, but the song on the radio stopped me. His voice was a tad more twangy than I’d generally tolerate, especially now with my enhanced hearing, but the lyrics were beautiful and way beyond fitting for my current situation.

I couldn’t hide what I felt for Damon anymore. I couldn’t deny it, hide from it, run from it or wish it away. Damon had snuck up on me. He’d burrowed into my soul and there was no shaking him now. And I was finally ready to admit I didn’t want to shake him.

I can’t keep pretending I don’t love him, not anymore.

I arrived at the boarding house, feeling more worn out than I thought possible. Wasn’t becoming a vampire supposed to be all superhuman feeling? If so, either I was really needing to complete the transition soon, or this unlife wasn’t gonna be all it was cracked up to be.

I assumed that Damon would be in front of the fireplace, bourbon in hand, waiting with sexually suggestive comments ready to go. Instead, the downstairs was empty. I made my way to the ridiculously large staircase, prepared to search his wing of the house. I had gotten about halfway up when my waning energy level bottomed out and I fell over, sprawling out unceremoniously over several steps.

Houston… I think we may have a problem.

Instinctively I knew that I needed to feed immediately, or I would forego the transition and pass on. I had very little interest in dying again, but I’d also seemed to have dropped the bag of blood. This was so not good. I looked around as best I was able with my lack of strength, but wasn’t able to find the bag.

Doing the only thing I could think of, I called out, “Damon!” but it came out as barely more than a raspy whisper. Nearly instantly he was at my side nonetheless, whisking me up into his arms and zipping to his room.

He gently placed me on the bed and sped off instantaneously, I assumed in search of blood. I could feel my eyes closing, though I tried my hardest to keep them open. I didn’t want to die!

Being a vampire might not have been choice numero uno for me, but it certainly beat not existing at all. Especially considering I hadn’t been able to tell Damon I’d changed my mind yet. I had no idea I’d spent so long arguing with Stefan. Fucking Stefan! I should’ve just told him to go find another Original to obsess over and left to find my Damon much sooner… now I’d never get to tell him I love him.

I could barely register the movement and voice at my side. I knew without question it was Damon, and I could absolutely smell the blood, but I was too far gone to do anything about it. I mouthed “love you,” hoped he’d hear me, and let myself float away.

It’s possible that I heard a gut wrenching sob right before I felt something smooth and cool against my lips, but I couldn’t say for sure. I do know that I could feel the faintest touch on my throat, helping the muscles work to swallow something against their will.

It could have been minutes or hours, but unexpectedly, I felt better. Different, but better. I began to actively swallow, sucking at whatever was pressed against my lips with a vigor I didn’t know I possessed. Then the freaky shit began.

My eyes suddenly felt tight, almost like my face was incredibly sun burnt and I was trying to smile. The skin was being pulled and constricted in an uncomfortable manner. Just as I had barely registered the weirdness in my face, suddenly my mouth ached. A pain I’d never experienced tore through my gums, causing me to scream out in agony.

“Oh thank God!” I heard him exclaim, sounding as if he’d been holding his breath.

“Damon?” I questioned, the fear I felt evident even to my own ears.

“You’re safe, kitten. I’ve got you,” he said as he pulled me tighter up against him. I was now instantly aware, hyper aware, of every spot our bodies were in contact.

I remembered him laying me down on his ginormous bed, but I had no recollection of him snuggling up to me… must have been while he was feeding me blood.

Blood.

I had completed the transition. I was now a vampire.

“Jesus, Elena! I thought I’d lost you!” he began to rant, though he stroked my hair with a gentleness that made my insides all aquiver. “Why the fuck didn’t you feed at the hospital?! You know? The place with all the blood?!”

I couldn’t help but giggle at that. He’s right; it really would have been smarter not to risk it. “Yeah,” I sighed. “I guess it would’ve been smarter to feed there, but I wanted to wait to be with you when I decided to join you for an eternity.”

“The place is practically the McDonald’s of the vampire world! I mean it’s basically a carry out stand… wait… what did you say?” He barely whispered the last four words. Must be the whole “join you for an eternity” sentence just dawned on him.

“I. Choose. You.” I said slowly and carefully as I brought my hand up to cup his gorgeous face, mirroring his earlier actions with me.

“Wh… what?” he stammered, his eyes falling closed.

“Look at me, Damon,” I demanded softly.

His remarkable blue eyes locked on mine and I smiled at him, a true smile for the first time in so long, before saying again, “I choose you, Damon. I was wrong before and I’m sorry I hurt you.” It seemed, even to me, to be a weak sentiment in the face of all that had happened, but I hoped he understood and accepted it.

“I don’t want your pity, Elena,” his eyes flashed as his temper obviously began to flare. “I don’t want you choosing me over the bunny killer just because you remembered a couple of meaningless moments.”

That stung. I couldn’t help but flinch at the accusation those moments meant nothing. They meant everything. Though that was still not why I was choosing him.

“You stop that, Damon. Do you hear me?” I admonished. “You known damn well they weren’t meaningless, or else you wouldn’t have compelled me to forget them! And don’t open your mouth until I’m done speaking, am I clear?” I chastised him as he opened him mouth to spew more ridiculousness at me.

His jaw clenched shut, but he nodded his agreement, so I continued. “I am not choosing you out of pity or some sense of duty due to the rediscovered memories. I’m not choosing you for any reason other than you,” I let my voice soften, wanting him to hear my sincerity. “I love you, Damon Salvatore. I love your smile, your sense of adventure, the way you make me laugh – even in the shittiest of moments. I love your loyalty and your ability to do the right thing, even when it means you are seen in the most horrific light. I love your heart, most of all. You try so hard to hide your feelings, trying to make yourself seem so aloof and uncaring, but you care more than anyone I’ve ever met. You are the most human, most amazing man I’ve ever encountered and I’m so sorry it took dying to make me realize it.”

By the time I was done speaking, Damon’s eyes were glossy and the look of disbelief on his face was enough to rupture my heart. I vowed then I would never let him feel so alone and unwanted, so… unworthy, again. I’d spend forever being the one to choose him finally, over and over.

“Elena,” my name fell from his lips like a prayer. “Please, don’t tease,” he pleaded. “Don’t say these things to me if you’re going to pick Stefan again eventually. My heart couldn’t take it.”

“I. Choose. YOU.” I felt this needed repeating, as he was obviously having some trouble accepting it. “Stefan will never be an issue again. It’s just you and me, Damon… if you’ll still have me.”

“Oh God!” he groaned. “I’ll have you in every way possible until I can’t have you anymore, Elena. As long as you’re sure…”

“I’ve never been more sure in my life. Or unlife, as the case is now, I guess,” I said with a morose smile. His lips pursed, and I could tell he heard and understood the sadness in my voice at my change-in-living status. “Hey, it’s okay. I wasn’t exactly prepared to die, but whoever is? Anyway, I’ll get to spend a lot more time getting to know you. And Caroline isn’t going anywhere in the near future either, so at least I’ll have one of my best friends around forever with me, right?” What’s done was done. Now all that was left was to find the bright spots in my future.

Starting with the astoundingly beautiful man I was currently cuddled up to.

“Are you sure you’re okay, Lena?”

It took me a moment to answer him, and he thankfully gave me the figurative space to think about it. Was I alright? Well, I was dead – so that was kind of a no, but I was never going to age… so that was a yes. Hmmm…

“I’m not sure, honestly. It’s a lot to take in,” I began. “I’m okay with the decision to complete the transition; I mean, dying for good really wasn’t appealing at all. But I kind of wish it hadn’t been necessary, you know?” He nodded his understanding.

“I’m thrilled that we’ll have lifetimes together, or that we at least have the option, but I’m sad that I’ll never have kids too.” It really was overwhelming. I remembered something he’d said on our impromptu road-trip to Georgia, and I couldn’t help but snicker.

“What’s funny, kitten?” his voice incredulous. Nothing I’d been discussing had been funny, so I could see his unease at my laughter. Maybe he thought I’d lost my mind?

Maybe he was right. “I was remembering when you said ‘vampires can’t procreate… but we sure love to try,’ I don’t know why it struck me as funny right now, but it did.”

Almost instantly I was flat on my back, with him hovering over me. His lithe body pressed against mine in strategically correct places. I was keenly aware of every single spot where we touched; it felt like electrical currents buzzing between us.

“We do. We do just love to try,” he purred as he pressed his evident arousal into me. My breath hitched as I felt the size of him, grazing my aching sex through my jeans.

“Mmhmm…” I breathed, “I just bet we do.” What?! I was part of the ‘we’ now too.

I raised my hips into his slightly, relishing in the almost mewling sound it caused in this god of a vampire. I did that to him. The power was intoxicating.

My mouth, almost without my permission, sought out his; I needed to feel him. To feel closer to him. We’d wasted so much time, Damon and I. Though I was far more responsible for the delay than he was.

Our lips brushed against one another’s gently at first, the shyness of our kiss almost comical, considering our lust fueled make-out session by that hotel vending machine. Maybe it was my admission of love that changed this kiss from the other. This didn’t feel like a betrayal, or a guilty pleasure. This felt like… home.

Our hands roamed each other’s bodies, slowly and unhurried, both of us relishing in just feeling. With no real need for oxygen, our kiss continued endlessly, though our breathing eventually devolved to quick pants due to our growing desire. His tongue caressed my bottom lip, requesting access, which was quickly granted. I’d never tasted anything as wonderful as Damon. He was sweet and spicy with a flavor that was uniquely his, and that was before I was vampire. Now? Well, now his taste was nearly indescribable. Again I found myself equating him with…

“Home,” he rasped, his lips barely leaving mine enough to speak. “You taste and feel like home, Lena.”

“So do you.” I was barely able to speak through the pleasure I felt as his fingertips grazed my hardened nipple through my clothes. God, I wanted him!

“I love you, Damon,” I began quietly. “I’m so sorry it took me so long to figure it out,” I spoke while my fingers worked the buttons on his silky shirt.

His only response was to groan as he divested me of my clothes. Our mouths barely left one another’s as we worked to get naked, except when we felt the need to speak. We apologized for the time wasted, for things we’d each done to hurt the other. We made declarations of how to make things right and things we’d do together.

It was gloriously normal and comfortable… it was right.

As he poised himself above me, now both of us naked as the day we were born, he paused before entering me. “Lena, I’ll give you anything you want. Anything. Just please don’t change your mind again.”

I felt worse than awful that he had such doubt in himself, in my love for him, though I couldn’t blame him really. No one in his past had ever chosen him first. Until now.

“I’ll give you children, kitten. I swear it, if that’s something you decide you want.” My eyes widened at his vow. Children? “We can adopt, we can do surrogates… hell, we can steal one if need be. Just don’t ever leave me.”

As he spoke, his sizable erection rubbed up through my wet folds with each shift of his hips. I was aching for him; I’d never felt such desire before. Yet, I’d also never been so emotionally touched by someone’s words. He was the most amazing man, truly.

“I don’t need anything but you, Damon,” I said as I pushed my hips up at just the right moment, allowing his tip to enter me.

We both groaned at the sensation as he pushed forward ever so slowly. Never had I felt so complete.

That is, until he was sheathed in me fully.

Our bodies moved together, our rhythm slow yet indescribably passionate. I knew without a doubt at some point down the road, Damon would fuck me six ways from Sunday. This glorious creature would teach me things that I didn’t realize I wanted to learn until he was the one teaching. He’d push my limits, test my control and turn me into his dirty little whore on occasion.

But not tonight.

Tonight was about connecting; about making our bodies prove our love to one another. How had I denied him for so long? Why the hell had I wanted to? I thought sex with Stefan had been the epitome of what it was ‘supposed’ to be, yet that didn’t hold a candle to Damon and what his body felt like as it moved with mine.

The tension built between us until we were both practically vibrating with our need for release, yet our movements never sped up. It was the most exquisite torture that held the most promising reward.

Whether due to my new enhanced senses or just Damon in particular, I could tell by the tightening in my belly that I was headed for the most mind-blowing orgasm of my existence – possibly of any existence. The way Damon’s body was quivering above mine told me that he was in store for a real treat as well.

When our moments came, there was no screaming or crying out for either of us. We sighed each other’s names, climaxing simultaneously as we clung together with all our might. Had either of us still been human, the force of our orgasms may have killed us. No human body could withstand that kind of pleasure.

We rode out our aftershocks, our lips rarely leaving the other’s, except for our declarations of love. Never had I felt so amazing, so at peace.

“Wow,” he chuckled. “I’ll never understand why you chose me completely, Lena, but fuck – I’ll never be sorry you did! Especially not after something like that!”

“And I’ll never stop trying to make up for being such a pig head. I just couldn’t keep fighting my love for you anymore.”

“I love you, Elena.” He sighed as he brought his lips to mine for a wonderfully sweet kiss.

“I love you, Damon. And now I can love you for an eternity,” I said with a smile.

It was over now; all the heartache, the trouble choosing between the brothers, the doppelganger curse, the constant worrying about being killed. I was finally strong enough to not only defend myself, but those I loved. I would never be alone again, and I had my eternal protector by my side.

Maybe becoming a vampire hadn’t been at the top of my to do list. But as long as I got to stay with Damon forever, and could still protect what I held dear, I’d never regret the transition.

I’ll have to send Meredith a thank you card, and maybe a care basket, or a trip to Tahiti…

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

“Anymore” by Travis Tritt

I can’t hide the way I feel about you anymore
I can’t hold the hurt inside, keep the pain out of my eyes anymore
My tears no longer waiting…my resistance ain’t that strong
My mind keeps recreating a life with you alone
And I’m tired of pretending that I don’t love you anymore

Let me make one last appeal to show you how I feel about you…hmmm
Cause there’s no one else I swear, holds a candle, anywhere, next to you
My heart can’t take the beating of not having you to hold
A small voice keeps repeating deep inside my soul…
It says I can’t keep pretending that I don’t love you anymore

I’ve got to take the chance or let it pass by
If I expect to get on with my life
With my life…

And I can’t hide the way I feel about you anymore
And I can’t hold the hurt inside, keep the pain out of my eyes anymore
My tears no longer waiting
Oh, my resistance ain’t that strong
Oh, my mind keeps recreating a love with you alone
And I’m tired of pretending I don’t love you anymore…anymore…anymore

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

This was my first TVD story – hope you enjoyed it. I’m still working diligently on “A Thousand Years,” (a True Blood story) but this little guy just wouldn’t get out of my head! I had to write it in order for it to leave me alone!

Damn, crazy muses!

Anyway, this will definitely be only a one-shot. I may write other TVD stories as time passes, or maybe I’ll write a sequel to this down the road… you never know. All I know is that October 11th and the premier of this season of TVD CANNOT come fast enough!

I hope you enjoyed this! Love and hugs to you all!

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One thought on “Anymore

  1. Reviews for Anymore – Copied from FF.net

    Butter014 10/10/13 . chapter 1
    aww *-* .. beautiful.. Love it :3 . A thank you card jajaj lol

    Sere’sLight 10/9/13 . chapter 2
    This was a really good story. Its a shame it’s being removed.
    I know I wouldn’t want to do this if it was my story, but you could try and revise it to where it only shows the PG-13 parts and kinda hint at the rest. that way at least some of the story is still up.

    All the best,
    Sere’sLight

    TashaRose 8/22/13 . chapter 1
    Loved it! I loved how she sent Stefan to the curb too. Jerk that he is.

    Trogdor19 11/29/12 . chapter 1
    Very well-written! I liked that Elena was shouting “Where is he?” at the same time as Damon was yelling “Where is she?”

    Why the fuck would the world need another quarterback?” Damon shouted. “I’d have let that thing wearing Ric’s skin kill me a thousand times if it meant she’d survive!”
    This is a great piece of dialogue, even separately from the fact that you managed to psychically predict Damon’s line from the premiere.- Or wait, was that in the promo? I don’t remember.

    “Looks like you’re fucked now, Saint Stefan. And not in the ‘I’m happy in the pants’ kinda way.”
    Ah ha ha ! Nice.

    Damon dropped his hand from my face slowly and turned away after one last, longing look into my eyes. As he reached the door he added, “Come see me when you’re ready to talk about your new memories. Or anything measurable.”
    -Obviously I love this passage because I am a huge sucker for when people actually get Damon’s dialogue correct. BUT I love it even more because in just a few words, you capture the irresistible conflict of sweetness and snark that makes him the most popular character in this fandom. Or it could be that face…or that ass. We’ll call it the personality, shall we?

    The breakup scene seemed a little rushed, but I rarely complain about anything that gets Damon more screen time.

    I really appreciated your focus on the compelled memories here. I’ve only watched up till 4×06 of the current season, but I feel like they’ve squandered that material at this point, and am still puzzled about why they invented the ‘met you first’ scene so late in the game if they didn’t intend to use it: maybe just for a cheap Delena shot that was unconnected to plot timeline so they could comfort us for the TERRIBLE never to be mentioned deathbed phone call.

    I really hope your muse gets captured by one of the new TVD episodes, because I would love to read more of your stuff, but I just can’t spare the time to addict myself to True Blood this late in the game. Crossing my fingers…

    BritneySalvatore 11/2/12 . chapter 1
    Please god…please write a sequel, I need more of this heavenly story! It should have happened this waaay!

    CasButtSalvatore 11/2/12 . chapter 1
    please write more? This was too amazing to end!

    oftheseaandintothewinds 10/5/12 . chapter 1
    Beautiful! Loved it!

    Chella8181 10/2/12 . chapter 1
    I really wish you would turn this into a story! 🙂 I loved the one-shot, but i think it could be a really good multi-chapter. Please think about it!

    Abgypig84 9/30/12 . chapter 1
    Elana choosing Damon was fantastic. Thanks.
    erin1705 9/30/12 . chapter 1
    I’ve only read a few one shots of VD ever but this is the first one I’ve reviewed. I thought it was great too! Stefan was such a pathetic idiot. I love that one of the first things Elena thought when she woke up was that Stefan was as broody as ever. LOL! Awesome job!

    HeartBreakMystique 9/30/12 . chapter 1
    I cannot describe how amazing this was 🙂 definitely one of the best I’ve read XD

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