Hungry For Your Love Chapter 1

This little guy came from loving this song (song lyrics provided at end), as well as a couple others, and the real possibility that this could have been me, with a love from my past. You never really get over that first love, do you? (Note from MissyDee…sister, this could be any one of us! I can hear his voice now lol)

Thanks to MissyDee and BaltiK for being my rockstar betas!
Disclaimer – I don’t own any of these characters, Charlene Harris does… and she’s a lucky, lucky gal.

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EPOV

“Hello,” a voice that can’t possibly be so familiar to me says quietly. There’s no way it’s her. I haven’t talked to her in nearly two decades.

I sit stunned, completely unable to speak. Felicia walks by my office and pauses to ask if I’m alright, she says I look ill. Well, I fucking feel nauseous, so I’m not shocked I look it.

“I’m fine, honey,” I assure her quietly as I motion to the phone. “Stomach’s off, and there’s bullshit at the bar.” I’m not going to tell my wife that the love of my life might very well be on the other end of the line.

Thankfully Felicia is more than used to the bar coming between our nights together. If I’m not actually at work, I’m getting a half dozen or more calls. Having two kids and a wife is not exactly easy when you own a bar. But, such is the chaos that is my life.

Speaking of chaos…

“Hello, Eric, you there?” It’s like a choir of angels singing – hearing her sweet voice speaking my name after all this time.

“Yeah, I’m here,” I breathe into the receiver. “Is it really you?” I don’t know if I’ll laugh, or cry if it isn’t.

“It’s me,” she pauses and takes a deep breath. “How’ve you been, Eric.”
I don’t even know how to answer that. How have I been? I moved across country when you got engaged to some dick you barely knew…how’ve I been? Fucking ducky – thanks.

“Uhh, I’ve been okay. I guess. How about you?” I manage to stutter out.

How is it that a voice I haven’t heard in nearly twenty years has me stuttering, with fucking butterflies in my stomach, like a teenager with a crush. My wife’s in the next room and my kids are asleep down the hall – yet here I am with memories of a life not lived whizzing through my head.

She sniffles, “I’m…I’m good.” Almost so quietly I miss it, before she adds, “I miss you, everyday.”

Fuck. My. Life. What the fuck am I supposed do I do with that?

“Sookie,” I sigh. Her name feels like heaven tumbling from my lips. I haven’t spoken that name in years. I think it – Every day. Sometimes I think of her – her name, her lips, her body, her every fucking thing – multiple times every day. But I never speak of her – ever.

“Sookie, it’s been nearly twenty years. You miss me now?”

“I’ve missed you always, every day – always, Eric.” Felicia walks by again at this moment and I can tell she knows something’s going on. I try to smile reassuringly at her, but I can tell she’s not buying it.

“Honey, why are you crying? Is everything okay?” I’m trying to be as quiet as possible; I’m in enough shit with my wife already.

“No.” she says quietly. “No, Eric, everything isn’t okay.” She cries harder.

I want to reach through the phone and pull her to me. Between her tears and the way my name sounds coming from her mouth, I’d sell my soul right now to comfort her.

Not for the first time in my married life, I wished this woman on the phone were the woman in my bed. The one to share my last name, the mother of my children. Fuck. I guess I never really did move on from her.

“What’s the matter, honey?” I never could stand to hear her cry. “Please don’t cry, Sookie. You know I hate it when you cry,” I plead. I swear – I’d do almost anything to get her to stop right now. Selling my soul, twice, would not be out of the question.

Twenty years. Twenty long years since I last spoke to her. Yet in less than two minutes – I’d give everything I am to be holding her right now.

She laughs slash snorts into the phone and apologizes for crying. We’re quiet for a moment, I’m guessing she’s as lost on what to do next as I am. In an instant, it all comes flooding back to me…

*****

Me seeing her on the Ferris wheel at the county fair for the first time, after just moving to town.

Seeing her from across the pool and park all that first summer, but never daring to talk to her.

Seeing her in school that first day.

Riding my bike over to her friend’s house with Rene that first time. Smoking pot with her, Rene, and Tara that day behind the doctor’s office next door.

Our first phone call – and getting grounded for tying up the phone line for five hours. The dozens of other calls that finally led up to her being my girlfriend.

The fuckhot make-out sessions that never led to sex – for six fucking months. We weren’t each other’s firsts, but it was the first time either of us would be in love before having sex with someone.

Us finally consummating our love, behind a dance club in the middle of February. In a snow bank, on our coats.

My dick REALLY appreciated the dip in the snow when some asshat turned their truck lights on us. She shoved me off of her, and poor Eric Jr. got the shock of his existence.

Every laugh. Every touch. Holy hell, she was my world.

All those horrible fights and lies. Making each other jealous with people we only ended up using. The makeup sex, the breakup sex. The phone calls made by both of us begging for another chance. We were both so fucking young and stupid.

She’s the only female in the world I’ve ever struck. One night and one too many recreational drugs later – I fucking lost it when she slapped me and ended up punching her in the mouth. I still can’t believe it happened. It’s one of my biggest regrets in life. I’d gone out that night trying to find her for another chance; she’d had enough of my drugs and drinking and didn’t want anything more to do with me – I’d finally pushed her far enough.

Then finally knowing that I couldn’t stay in that town and watch her marry another. Too many things had happened between us for it to work. The crazy had taken over both of us.

The last time we spoke was in the break room of that run-down old grocery store we both worked in. She’d heard about my plans to move from one of the cashiers; I’d had no intention of telling her. Had she asked me to stay – I would have.

But that’s not what happened. She cursed me for letting her hear it from someone else, then she cursed me for leaving. Inside, my heart was breaking – but I never told her. I just told her it was time, and that if she insisted on marring someone else, well…I didn’t have to stay around and watch.

She asked when she’d see me again. I’d told her never. I’d meant it, too. I would never stop loving this beautiful girl – there was no denying it. But I didn’t have to admit it to her either. So I simply stood up, pulled her into our final embrace and told her I wanted her to be happy.

I’ll always love you, Eric. I’m sorry it’s worked out this way – I just can’t do the crazy anymore,” she sobbed into my chest.

I’ll always love you too, sweetcheeks. You take care now.” I kissed the top of her head, squeezed her tighter for a split second – and never saw or spoke to her again.

I moved to California the following week and I’ve been back to the old stomping grounds only once since then – and that was to marry Felicia.

Twenty long years later, and the love I’ve never lost for this little girl hits me like a ton of fucking bricks.

“I know you hate it, Eric. Hell, I hate it too.” She’s sniffling quietly; I can almost hear her twirling her hair, just like she always used to when she was sad. “It’s really good to hear your voice again; it’s been so long.”

I can hear my wife puttering in the hallway; obviously she’s trying to figure out who’s on the phone. I’m a grown ass man that has to resort to whispering like a fucking child. Fabulous – yay me. “It’s really good to hear your voice too, Sook.” I debate for all of a second before adding the next part, “Hearing my name come from your sweet lips still makes me weak in the knees.” Did I really just admit that? Like in my out loud voice? What. The. Fuck!

A small sob escapes her and I want to kick my own ass for making her cry. “I dream of you, baby.” Baby…well, holy shit. She hasn’t called me that in forever. “Almost every night lately.”

Huh. I had the most vivid fucking dream of her last night. This is getting fucking creepy. “It’s funny you’re calling me and talking about dreams, Sook.”

I have to pause as Felicia enters the office once again. “Sam, could you hold a minute, Fifi needs something.”

A really loud fucking snort comes from Sookie, making me smile broadly as I hear her say, “Sam, Fifi – what the fuck’ve you got going on over there, baby?” I chuckle quickly and tell her to can it, which earns me another round of giggles from the receiver.

I’m still smiling when I ask my wife what she needs. She reminds me that I need to read the boys a story before bed. “Umm, Fifi…they’ve been asleep for a couple of hours now – and I read them their story.” I’m in deep shit later, she’s grasping at straws here.

Her face scrunches up right before she informs me that I promised her ‘sexy’ time tonight. Joy. Oh how could I forget the good time that is my wife in the sack. I assure her that I remember and that I won’t be more than another ten minutes at most. She still doesn’t seem happy, but she does leave the room without an argument.

“Sookie,” I whisper, “I can’t stay on the phone too much longer. My wife is home, as you heard, and it’s kind of hard to talk right now.” I want to break down and cry at the thought of getting off the phone with her. “Does he know you’re talking to me?”

“No, there’s a lot to tell you,” she pauses. Her voice drops in volume and all humor is gone, “I don’t want to say goodbye yet. I just found you again.”

“I don’t want to say goodbye either, Sookie. I never want to say goodbye again, but I can’t stay on the phone with you tonight.”

“Eric, what would you say if I told you that I’m in California right now?”

My fucking heart stopped. Dead – on the spot. “Did you just say you’re…you’re here?” Holy fucking shit on a shingle! Could she really be here?

“I did.”

What would I say? “I’d say when can I see you?” I want to ask if this very fucking second is too soon…but I don’t. Wife. I’ve got a wife. Down the hall. A wife. Right.

She sighs loudly. “I was really hoping you’d say that,” she giggles finally. “How’s tomorrow work for you?”

Now it’s my turn to laugh. “Twenty years since I’ve seen you last, honey. It’s not soon enough, but it will have to do.”

We chat briefly about where to meet, since my bar will not be the best idea with the way Felicia is behaving. She’s staying about an hour from me so I volunteer to drive out her way and pick her up at her hotel.

Is it the smartest idea I’ve ever had? Probably not.

Do I give a fat, red, flying rat’s ass? Not even a little.

My biggest regrets in this life all center around the voice on my phone. We bid our goodnights, which takes another few minutes. Neither of us seems to want to let go of this night. Then we take another few trying to reassure the other that tomorrow’s not too far away.

“Sookie, honey, I’ve got to go. I’m so sorry and you know I don’t want to.” That much should be obvious, since my dumbass can’t seem to hang up. “Felicia’s going to have an aneurism any moment, swear to god.” She’s pacing in the room next door; I can hear it. “If she really blows a gasket, it won’t be easy to get to you tomorrow.”

That seems to get her attention. “We can’t have that, Eric. There’s so much I need to say to you.” She pauses briefly and suddenly bursts out laughing. “You’ll have to explain to me why you call your wife a poodle’s nickname when I see you tomorrow, you know.”

“Sweetcheeks, if you’ll laugh like that, I’ll tell you anything you want to know.” I freeze when I realize I actually called her ‘Sweetcheeks.’ Holy shit, that’s a pet name I haven’t used in nearly two decades.

It doesn’t go unnoticed by her, either. After another small sob, she finally agrees to hang up. I’m suddenly sixteen all over again when we do the whole ‘you hang up, no you hang up – on three’ thing. It’s surreal, and strange, and so fucking amazing.

I stare at the phone for a minute after we disconnect, just shocked at what a weird turn my life has just taken. As I push away from my desk to go have horribly boring, and predictable, sex with my wife another realization crashes down on me.

It’s going to be hard to be faithful. Maybe even impossible. I can barely stomach the thought of sex with my wife most nights and tomorrow I’m meeting my Sookie at a fucking hotel room.

I’m so fucking screwed.

“Lips Of An Angel” By Hinder

Honey why you calling me so late?
It’s kinda hard to talk right now.
Honey why are you crying? Is everything okay?
I gotta whisper ’cause I can’t be too loud

Well, my girl’s in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It’s really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It’s funny that you’re calling me tonight
And, yes, I’ve dreamt of you too
And does he know you’re talking to me
Will it start a fight
No I don’t think she has a clue

Well my girl’s in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It’s really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It’s really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

Honey why you calling me so late?

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I’m not sure if this will be just a couple of chapters yet, or if it will be a bit lengthier. We’ll have to see what the muses have to say.

I know some of you are probably hating on me for the possibility that Eric might cheat – but life’s messy. I love a good HEA and respecting of the vows and all…but sometimes, that’s just not how life works out.
I can’t say he will cheat, I can’t say he won’t. I haven’t gotten there just yet and I literally write on the fly. No game plan, no outline. The muses dictate what goes down depending on their moods.

Oh, and as far as Eric hitting her once – obviously I don’t condone violence against women – but I do say that if you’re going to hit someone, you should expect to get hit back. Violence begets violence and all that. Plus, when this really did happen to me as a kid, it was only once and it was all because of the drugs ‘my Eric’ was taking at the time…it’s not right, but it is life.

Please let me know what you think – good or bad – hate mail included if necessary! Lol

Love you all bunches and tons!

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