Hungry For Your Love Chapter 4

I’m going to admit that I’m finding it harder and harder to respond to all of the reviews – so if I don’t respond PLEASE know that your reviews are the highlights of my days and I love each and every one of them! Also, thanks for the additions to your lists – it warms my heart!

Thanks to MissyDee and BaltiK for being allstar betas!

Disclaimer – I don’t own any of these characters, Charlaine Harris does… and she’s a lucky, lucky gal.

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EPOV

My mind is reeling as I drive; I can’t believe I’m really going to do this! Seeing her is both terrifying and exhilarating all at once. If I’m being honest with myself then I have to admit that I wouldn’t be seeing her today if my marriage was happier. Oh, I’d let her speak her peace, but I’d do it over the phone – but let’s just say that marriage for me is not all of what I thought it’d be.

I still have no intention of cheating on my wife; I just can’t imagine being that kind of asshole, no matter how unhappy I am. So why am I meeting the one that got away in her hotel room, you ask? There’s no simple answer for that one. I’ve ached to see Sookie again since the day I moved. I’ve wondered how she is and what her life is like now. I’ve mostly wondered if she ever thinks of me. So why am I going…because I need to know the answers to these questions – now. Fate seems to think this is a good idea, since the opportunity fell in my lap and I’m not wasting it for anything.

I pull up to the hotel and my stomach feels like it’s gonna pop out of my mouth the second I open it. This place is gorgeous; the architecture is amazing as are the color schemes in the main lobby. I’m transfixed by the beauty of it as I wait for the elevator to arrive. The door opens and a very distinguished older gentleman asks me “going up?” Holy shit, I thought that only happened in movies. I step inside and inform him I’m headed to one of the single suites on the sixth floor as the doors close.

I’m fidgeting something awful, which is totally unmanly by the way, as the elevator creeps up to Sookie’s floor.

“Meeting someone important, sir?” the gentleman asks.

I briefly explain that I’m meeting an old friend who I’ve not seen in many years; he comments on how exciting this must be for me. I can only hum my response, as we’ve just passed the fifth floor and I’m in serious danger of throwing up.

The elevator dings as we reach the sixth floor and for a moment I wonder if I’ve glued my feet to the floor somehow – I can’t seem to move. I stand there frozen momentarily and it’s the sweet old man that breaks the spell holding me back.

“Hope you find everything you’re looking for, sir.”

Everything I’m looking for, huh? I turn and smile at him, offering my hand to shake.

“Thanks sir, I certainly hope I do too.” Sookie’s certainly everything I’ve missed all this time – maybe she is what I’m looking for. The only way I’m going to find this out is if I get off this damn elevator and knock on her door. So without another thought, I exit the doors and walk as fast as my legs will carry me to her door; before I can talk myself out of it, I knock firmly.

Standing there for the thirty seconds waiting for her to answer the door not only feels like an eternity, it makes me want to crawl up my own ass and hide. What the fuck is wrong with me?

The door opens and I swear to Christ, my heart stops. Every ounce of strength I’ve ever possessed goes into not jumping her right here, right now. She’s heavier than she was the last time I saw her, but it really works for her. She’s fat by California standards – but shit, anything more than a walking skeleton is. She’s got the perfect amount of curves, and her breasts are bigger than they were before – and that’s saying something. Her hair is still the color of wheat in the sunlight though it’s shorter than last time I saw her.

She’s fucking gorgeous – she was stunning before now she’s simply edible. I’m so fucking screwed!

She’s checking me out as thoroughly as I am her and it appears she likes what she sees. Her eyes are wide and she doesn’t seem to be breathing – I know the feeling.

“Hi Sook,” I say quietly to break the tension.

Her eyes finally meet mine and the strangest feeling of peace washes over me. Just as she’s breathing out her quiet “hello”, I grab her by the hips and pull her into a tight hug. My brain seems to have disconnected from my body, and she squeaks in surprise at my attack. Once her shock wears off, she wraps her arms around my waist and buries her head in my chest. We just stand there in the doorway of her hotel suite for a few minutes like idiots, holding onto one another for dear life. Finally she clears her throat and pats my back, signaling that she wants to end the embrace. I don’t know if I want to laugh or cry, but I release her regardless.

“Come in, Eric.” She steps aside to let me into the room and tells me how glad she is that I’m here. I assure her the feeling is mutual and smile at her tentatively. She waves her hand, signaling that I should have a seat on the sofa telling me to make myself comfortable.

The suite is as stunning as the rest of the hotel so far; the furniture is of the highest quality as are the rugs and curtains. The sitting area is huge; there’s a standard size couch, a loveseat and a wingback chair. There’s also a kitchenette complete with a Keurig machine and complimentary KCups. I’m assuming the double doors behind me lead to her bedroom, but I’m doing my best not to focus on that – my dick’s having a hard enough time staying only semi-erect, too much thought about her bedroom and I’m fucked for sure.

She comes around the other side of the couch and sits down on the far end – apparently she’s a bit nervous to be near me too. I turn my body towards her, bending one knee up and onto the cushion fully; she mirrors my position and offers me a shy smile. We sit there just staring at each other for a minute, neither one seeming to know what to say.

“So…” we both start at once and burst out laughing. We go through the whole, “you first, no you first” thing a few times causing another round of giggles.

I’m floored momentarily by the music in the background, it’s like a hairband party on her IPod – and I freaking love it! I just can’t stand this silence anymore. “Okay, Sook, I know it’s been a while – but I don’t think it has to be this awkward, do you?” I ask as I gently reach for her hands.

My skin is tingling wherever it’s touching hers – I’d forgotten how that used to happen. So, so very fucked am I!

“No, Eric,” she breathes. “It doesn’t have to be this awkward. I’m sorry.” She smiles sadly at me. I assure her there’s nothing to be sorry for, it’s just a weird situation. “Are you sorry I called you then?”

I can’t for the life of me imagine how she could think this. “Honey, if I was sorry you called I wouldn’t have come. I’m glad you called. Confused…but glad.”

“I’m sorry to confuse you, there’s just so much I want to say to you.” She trails off, seemingly lost for what to say next.

“Well, I’m here now, Sweetcheeks.” I squeeze her hands gently, “Tell me why you called after all this time.”

She takes a deep breath and launches right into it. I’m shocked at all the things coming from her mouth. It turns out she was only with the asstard for a couple years, and then she was single for quite a while. It seems she couldn’t find anyone that held her interest for more than a minute. I’d like to think it’s because none of them were me, but that’s probably just wishful thinking. Anyway, she tells me that she lived with a man that hit her for a while and I swear to you if I ever find this motherfucker, I’ll kill him myself. Finally we get to her marriage and her illness. I’d heard she’d gotten fat, like really fat, but I never knew about the cancer. I tell her she couldn’t have looked that bad, and she assures me that she looked like a manatee on land for a while and I couldn’t help but burst out laughing.

“But you’re okay now, right, Sook?” I can’t stand the thought that she might be dying right now. Just the thought of it has my eyes tearing up, and I never fucking cry.

She assures me that she’s okay as far as anyone knows. When I ask her what the hell that means, she tells me that all the tests say she’s alright, but that she’ll need to be tested annually for the next few years. She must be able to see the panic I feel reflected in my eyes, because she leans over and puts one of her tiny hands on my face and quietly says “I’m okay, baby, don’t worry.” I lean into her hand and purr like a fucking cat.

Jesus Christ, I’ve missed her.

I nod slightly and ask her to please continue. Unfortunately, she releases my face and leans back against the arm of the couch again when she does. She tells me of her marriage to Bill and how when she met him she was just happy to have someone that was nice to her and that seemed interested in the same kind of life together. Years went by however, before she finally realized that he never wanted kids and now she’s dangerously close to being too old to have them safely. My heart breaks for her hearing this because I can remember clearly how much she wanted to be a mom. We lost a baby when she was sixteen; we didn’t even know she was pregnant until she was losing our child. To say that we were both a fucking mess over it is a gross understatement, but we got through it.

“So what made you two split up, honey? He didn’t hit you too, did he?” I fairly certain if she says yes, I’m going to go to jail for murder. Now whether I’ll kill him for hitting her or her for letting two guys do that after the shit her bastard grandfather did to her, remains to be seen. Either way, if her husband hit her – someone’s gonna die.

She assures me that he never laid a hand on her, and then she laughs saying that’s part of the problem. I’m confused and it must show on my face, because she giggles and admits that not only is he rotten in the sack, but he never wants to fuck. The guy is a fucking moron! I’m here to tell you, if she was mine – I’d have a hard time ever getting out of bed or at least getting my dick out of her! What. The. Fuck?

I don’t tell her what I’d like to do to her, or what I’d be doing if she was mine – obviously – but I do tell her what a fucking fool her husband is. She smiles and says thanks quietly before continuing with why she called me. It turns out that she wants to apologize for all the shit we went through before.

I’m fucking floored. I mean, she was a royal bitch sometimes, but shit – I was no saint either. “Sook, we were two stupid fucking kids. Neither one of us did right by the other most of the time. If I could go back and kick my own ass, I would you know.” I really would. I’d do things so differently today.

“Eric, I need you to know that I didn’t call you to cause you any trouble. I don’t want to ruin your marriage, and I’m not trying to get you back,” she pauses and I have to admit that hearing she doesn’t want me back breaks my heart a little.

Maybe it shows on my face because suddenly she’s back pedaling, “I mean, if we were both single…but we’re not. So…” She’s really fucking cute when she’s nervous.

She takes a deep breath and finishes her thought and seems to collect herself before continuing. “I just wanted to tell you how sorry I was for how controlling I was back then, Eric. I know it doesn’t change anything now, but it’s something I’ve wanted to say for years. It really did take a long time for me to figure out why I treated you the way I did.” She takes a deep breath, “See, what I finally figured out is that none of it was really that big a deal. I mean, yes – you shouldn’t have been doing drugs, but it’s not like you were shooting up. A little pot never killed anyone, right? So I shouldn’t have been such a crazy bitch about it.”

I hold my hand up to interrupt her, finally realizing that she’s still holding my other hand. I can’t believe I didn’t notice that before now. “I need to set the record straight on something, Sook. I never did acid again after that night, and I certainly never did anything harder after either.” I have to pause in order to take a deep, calming breath for what I need to say next. “Sookie, honey, I can’t fucking believe I ever hit you. I still have nightmares about that night. I’ve never hit a woman besides that one time with you, and I can’t ever tell you how sorry I am.” My eyes are tearing again, and I can’t believe I’m such a fucking basket case today.

She scrambles over to me, practically landing in my lap; she puts her hands on either side of my face, forcing me to look her in the eyes. “Eric, you listen to me. I forgave you a long time ago for that. Should you have hit me? No, but I shouldn’t have hit you either.” She leans in and kisses my forehead quickly, but gently, before continuing. “Eric, you would never have done that if it wasn’t for the drugs. I know it, you know it. Please, don’t beat yourself up over it.”

We sit there for a minute, way too close for comfort and yet not nearly close enough. Kismet seems to strike when one of ‘our’ old songs begins to play. “Holy shit, Sook. You really have this on your iPod?” I can’t help but laugh. I haven’t heard “Love Bites” in fucking ages.

“Of course I do, silly. Not only is it a kick ass song, it’s one of our songs. How could I not?”

I stand up suddenly and reach out a hand to her. “Dance with me, honey.” She allows me to pull her up, but stands planted in place when I try to bring her around the coffee table so we can dance. “Sook, please dance with me. We only got to do it twice back then, and both times ended in shitty fights. Can’t we try this once more?” I mean the dancing, but recognize instantly that my words can have a whole other meaning.

She gives me a tiny smile and allows me to lead her out into the center of the room. I continue holding her right hand in mine as I bring it up and cradle it against my chest. I slide my other arm around her back, placing my palm against the curve of her hips right above her ass. Sookie brings her free hand up and is holding onto my shirt for dear life as she rests her head against my chest in between her two hands.

I haven’t felt anything this right in as long as I can remember. Holding her like this dancing to a song that we made love to so many times, I want nothing more than the ability to turn back time and do relive every minute of my life with her and since her over again. I’m lost in the feeling of this moment, trying my damndest not to let my hardening cock poke her and ruin it.

“You’ve gotten better at this, my Eric,” she says quietly as we sway.

I can’t help but chuckle. “Yeah, it’s amazing how much more fun dancing is when you’re not an insecure kid. You get better at a lot of things.”

It’s not until she looks up at me with a shocked look on her face that I realize what I’ve said. I throw my head back and let out a loud laugh and assure her I wasn’t trying to be a pig and she laughs right along with me.

When the laughter subsides we lock eyes and I realize just how fucked I really am at this moment. Def Leppard’s singing away as I’m lost in my former lover’s eyes.

I don’t wanna touch you too much baby, cuz making love to you might drive me crazy…”

Truer words were never spoken, but it doesn’t seem to stop us from being caught in some kind of gravitational pull towards one another. The small part of my brain that’s telling me it’s not okay to kiss this woman is quickly silenced the moment our lips touch.

While I’ve always enjoyed kissing, there’s really nothing on earth like kissing Sookie. Our lips meet so gently at first and hers are as soft and full as I remember. It’s barely more than a long peck kiss at first, both of us so unsure about what we’re doing. We’re still moving with the music as the kiss begins to deepen; our lips move slowly and very, very gently, relearning each other.

When she brings a hand up to hold the back of my neck as she moans into my mouth, I can’t hold back anymore. I stop swaying to the music and pull her tightly against me; I know she feels my erection when she gasps and grinds against me. My tongue traces her bottom lip requesting entrance into her sweet, sweet mouth and I’m beyond thrilled when she grants it. There’s no battle for dominance, just passionate explorations of one another. I’d forgotten how wonderful she tastes, and it’s even more exquisite now that neither of us are smokers; turns out we both quit about ten years back.

My dick’s so hard I want to cry and the kissing is only making it worse, but I can’t seem to stop. I know I can’t let it go farther than this, and this shouldn’t even be happening as it is, but I can’t seem to stop either. The kiss is still gentle, but passionate, as we moan often into one another’s mouths. It’s taking every bit of control I’ve ever had not to strip her down and make love to her right here, but I know I can’t. She grinds against my aching cock again, and I’m in serious danger of either giving in or coming in my pants, so I have to break the kiss.

“Sookie, my love,” I pant, “I can’t do this. God I want to – but I’m married.” I pull her tighter against me, unwilling to let her go just yet.

“Jesus, Eric. I’m so sorry,” she says as she goes to pull away.

“No, stay.” I refuse to let go of her. “I’ll be okay, just let me hold you, honey. I don’t want to let you go just yet.” I swear – I’d hold her like this forever if I could.

I hold her for a few more minutes, trying to will away my hard on. I finally pull back a little bit and gently grab her face by the chin. I lower my mouth to hers and kiss her briefly with no tongue. The kiss is perfect and heartbreaking all at once.

“Honey, we need to leave this room or I’m in serious danger of breaking my vows today,” I smile at her. “I might not be happy in my marriage, but I’m not a cheat.”

She agrees and after another kiss we head out to the elevators. We get down to the lobby and are heading out to my SUV when my cell rings. It’s the boy’s school.

This can’t be fucking good.

“Love Bites” by Def Leppard

If you’ve got love in your sights
Watch out, love bites

When you make love, do you look in the mirror?
Who do you think of, does he look like me?
Do you tell lies and say that it’s forever?
Do you think twice, or just touch ‘n’ see?
Ooh babe ooh yeah

When you’re alone, do you let go?
Are you wild ‘n’ willin’ or is it just for show?
Ooh c’mon

I don’t wanna touch you too much baby
‘Cos making love to you might drive me crazy
I know you think that love is the way you make it
So I don’t wanna be there when you decide to break it
No!

Love bites, love bleeds
It’s bringin’ me to my knees
Love lives, love dies
It’s no surprise
Love begs, love pleads
It’s what I need

When I’m with you are you somewhere else?
Am I gettin’ thru or do you please yourself?
When you wake up will you walk out?
It can’t be love if you throw it about
Ooh babe

I don’t wanna touch you too much baby
‘Cos making love to you might drive me crazy

[Repeat Chorus]

[guitar solo]

Ooh yeah

[Repeat Bridge]

Love bites, love bleeds
It’s bringin’ me to my knees
Love lives, love dies

[Repeat Chorus]

If you’ve got love in your sights
Watch out, love bites
Yes it does
It will be hell

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Let me say that I know that technically kissing someone else while married is cheating… but let’s face it – they both want more and I have to give it to my man for stopping things where he did. Was it right to kiss her, probably not – does shit like this happen in real life – hell yes. Good on him for not taking it too far.

Hope you’ll all stick with me to see what happens next. I can tell you that this is likely as far as the cheating will get in this story – however I can also tell you that there is SO much more going on in this story. I hope you’ll continue the journey with me!

Love and hugs to all!

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