My Immortal

Only the rarest of loves are eternal. A human, Eric/Sookie, M rated, one-shot. 2013 IWTS entry.Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries

I Write The Songs . CONTEST ENTRY

TITLE: My Immortal

CHARACTERS: Eric, Sookie

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own these characters, but I’m having a great time playing with them! They belong to Charlaine Harris and/or HBO. The song, My Immortal, belongs to Evanescence and Sony BMG Music Entertainment.

PEN NAME: realjena

BETA NAME: Ali989969

VIRGIN WRITER : NO

 

TEASER: Only the rarest of loves are eternal. A human, Eric/Sookie, M rated, one-shot.

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“My Immortal” by Evanescence

I’m so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Your presence still lingers here
And it won’t leave me alone

These wounds won’t seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There’s just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I’d wipe away all of your tears
When you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now I’m bound by the life you left behind
Your face – it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice – it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won’t seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There’s just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I’d wipe away all of your tears
When you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

I’ve tried so hard to tell myself that you’re gone
But though you’re still with me
I’ve been alone all along

When you cried I’d wipe away all of your tears
When you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

I’d never believed in the supernatural.

Never thought it was anything more than the insane ramblings of sad, sorry, little people who had little else to do with their time.

What I wouldn’t give to go back to my blissfully ignorant, happy days…

We’d met as awkward kids in the seventh grade. Introduced by a mutual friend one day at lunch, we’d been inseparable from that moment on. My first love, my first kiss… Eric was my first everything. We’d had many wild, amazing times together over the years. And, some horrendous fights too.

At seventeen, Eric had proposed for the first time. And of course, I’d accepted. I knew way back then that he was the love of my life; there was no way I could have said no. He’d saved every dime he could from his job as stock boy at the local grocers, and had presented me with a simple blue topaz and diamond ring.

At eighteen, I’d caught him in bed with his “best friend”…

Needless to say, the engagement was off after that.

Pam had always been a source of problems between us. She’d hated me from the moment we’d met, and had never stopped. Twenty years later, and we could still hardly stand to be in the same room. Some wounds don’t heal, and we would never get along.

Anyway, Eric had sworn it was a one-time thing with her and after many months of groveling, I’d taken him back. We were twenty when we’d actually set a date to walk down the aisle for the first time. Unfortunately, when Pam showed up the day before the wedding carrying a tiny plastic stick with two blue lines… the wedding was off again.

She’d ended up losing the baby a few months later, and to be honest I still doubt to this day that it was even Eric’s. But regardless, if the possibility of it being his was there, the damage had been done. That glorious event had begun our longest separation up to that point.

For two years I wouldn’t return his calls, I’d send back every letter/card/gift he’d sent, and I’d called the cops every time he had darkened my door. I’d had enough, and needed some normalcy and some non-assholery in my world.

When my beloved Gran had passed away in year three of our “break”, I’d finally let Eric back in. I’d accepted his condolences, allowed him to comfort me, and eventually we had rebuilt our friendship. That friendship re-blossomed into a love affair, and we’d spent the next several years together. At last, we were one-hundred percent faithful to each other and truly, blissfully happy.

Eric was an architect and had been offered a job in Pennsylvania during year three of our reconciliation. As much as I had hated the idea of him being a whole state away from our native New York, it was a once in a lifetime opportunity and I wouldn’t have dreamed of holding him back.

Though… as it turned out, hindsight was a heartless motherfucker.

If I’d known the endgame, I’d have chained him in the basement to keep him home safe with me.

Anyway, we’d been able to stay together during his absence, but it had been rough. The job was scheduled to last a total of twenty-eight months, and after so much waiting… he was finally coming home to me forever.

All throughout his time in our neighboring state, we’d worked little by little to plan our wedding. I was beyond excited. It had been nearly two decades from the day that had Stan introduced us as pimply-faced kids, and we were finally going about start the rest of our lives together.

We’d planned to have him roll into town just hours before the wedding. His tux was waiting for him at the church, our bridal party was primed for action, the guests were in attendance, and the reception hall was ready… all we’d needed was the groom.

And my gorgeous man had been running a bit late.

I knew he’d never leave me at the altar, but I’d needed him to get there. And I’d needed it fast.

What I’d gotten instead of my handsome husband-to-be was two State Troopers crashing my wedding day with words I never thought I’d hear.

And would never, ever get over.

“I’m so sorry, Miss Stackhouse… but Eric Northman was killed four hours ago in a Seven-Eleven just over the New York border.”

I’d vaguely heard them saying something about “wrong place, wrong time”… but moments later, everything had gone black.

I’d woken up days later in a hospital bed, utterly confused and frightened.

Tara, my best friend, had rushed to my side the moment I’d started to thrash about. I’d been desperate to get to Eric, certain that my horrible dreams were just that… senseless nightmares brought on by pre-wedding jitters.

I’d never been more heartbroken to find out that I was wrong.

Tara had held me as I’d sobbed endlessly while she explained what had happened. Apparently, Eric had stopped for gas near Binghamton, New York and had been caught in the crossfire of two punks who needed to “settle a score.”

An eighteen year old kid had waltzed into the convenience store brandishing an assault weapon and had opened fire on all those inside. His main target had been the nineteen year old who was working behind the counter and had apparently “disrespected” the young man at a recent party in front of some girls.

Too bad his aim had sucked.

Ten people were killed in the store that fateful day. A mother and her three kids, the employee who’d been the target, an off-duty cop, an elderly couple who’d been traveling through, the store manager… and my sweet Eric all lost their lives for senseless, juvenile bullshit.

As to why I had woken up in the hospital?

I was pregnant.

It was to be my surprise wedding gift for the love of my life.

I’d found out about our baby just a week before my sweet man had been ripped from my world. Forever.

Luckily, the baby had been fine. It had just been too much stress on both of us to find out that we’d lost the most important man in our lives.

I was released from my tiny, sterile room just three days later and was forced to return to the home we’d planned to spend our forever in. Wedding gifts were scattered throughout the living room, and thank God for Tara because with a quickness that had seemed otherworldly, she purged my world of the painful reminders of all that I’d lost.

For the first few weeks after I’d lost Eric, I wallowed in bed. I was barely eating, hardly sleeping, and was in serious danger of harming myself and our baby.

Two months to the day of Eric’s death was the first time he appeared to me. I’d been rushed to the hospital due to bleeding and was immediately hooked to every machine known to medical science.

Turned out I was dehydrated, malnourished, underweight, anemic, sleep deprived, suffering from depression, and had contracted placenta previa. The umbilical cord was too close to the opening of my cervix, and if I wasn’t careful I was going to lose our child.

That night when I’d finally fallen asleep, Eric came to set me straight.

“What are you doing, baby?” he scolded sadly. “I know you’re a mess without me, and I miss you more than I can say… but you can’t do this to him. Our little guy is gonna need you, and you’ll never get to meet him if you don’t start taking care of yourself.”

“Eric, I miss you so much. It’s been so awful without you. I don’t know what to do anymore,” I wailed as I threw myself into his arms. “I can’t believe you left me.”

“Shit, Sook. It’s not like I did it on purpose! I was so looking forward to waiting for you at the end of that aisle, to calling you my wife, to raising our family together. I wanted to have a dozen kids with you, baby.”

“Me too,” I sobbed.

“But Sook, if you don’t take care of our boy, you’ll lose the only child I’ll ever have. I’ve already lost you, my love, please don’t make me lose my son too,” he begged.

“Are we really having a boy?” I sniffled against his chest.

“We are. And I love him so much already, Sook. I wish so desperately that I could be there with you to feel him moving inside your tummy, to hold your hand as we welcome our son into the world, to wake up for midnight feedings… hell, I’d even take all his shitty diapers if I could just be there with you now. But I can’t. And I need you to be strong enough for all of us.”

“I promise, I’ll take care of him for you…”

“For us, baby. I love you, Sookie Northman, always. You were already my wife in my eyes, you know.”

“I was in mine too, honey. I love you, Eric. Stay with me?”

“For as long as I can, baby. I promise.”

It had been my wakeup call.

When I’d been released from the hospital I’d finally changed my behavior. Little Eric needed me, and I vowed not fail him again.

Eric still came to me in dreams from time to time, but it wasn’t until the birth of our son that I’d actually seen his ghost while conscious. During the worst of the delivery I’d felt him, his hand gripping mine and anchoring me when I’d needed it most. I turned, terrified that it was just my imagination and when I saw him standing there I’d gasped aloud.

His tender smile and wide eyes that were filled with love made all the difference in my delivery.

Five minutes later we welcomed Eric Alexander Northman Junior into the world. As joyous as the occasion was, I sobbed uncontrollably for Eric’s absence.

“Don’t cry, baby. I’m still here with you both. He’s so beautiful, Sook. I’m so proud of you,” he mouthed through his tears.

For the first few years I saw Eric frequently, both while awake and asleep. Sadly, I was only able to hear his voice in dreams but was able to read his lips with no issues while awake. It was odd, but comforting, and I wouldn’t have traded it for the world.

Over the past few years however, his visits had dwindled. He had begun to look progressively more worn and tired with each visit. I’d told him several times that he could move on, that little Eric and I were okay now.

But he’d steadfastly refused every time.

To be honest, his visits were becoming more draining on me as well. I missed him so desperately and I couldn’t truly move on with him still here. I’d never get over him regardless, and as much as I knew I should be grateful for any extra time with him…

It was hurting all three of us.

“I don’t know how much longer I can stay with you, baby, and I’m scared. The pull is getting so strong. I don’t want to lose you both,” he’d told me while I’d slept last night.

“I know, Eric. I don’t want to lose you either, but I think that time is growing near. You look so tired, honey. Plus, Eric Junior sees you too, you know. And it upsets him now. He used to think it was ‘neat’, but now it just reminds him that you’re never coming back, honey. It’s not fair… to any of us.”

“Just a little longer, please… baby, I’m not ready yet.”

“It’s okay, honey. And just know, when you stop coming back, I’ll miss you for the rest of my life. And I’ll count the days until I can join you for eternity. But I’ll tell our son everyday all about how wonderful his daddy was and how much you love him. I’ll never get over you, Eric. And I’ll never let our son forget you either.”

“I love you, Sook, so much. Thank you,” he whispered as he took me in his arms.

“I love you, Eric. Always.”

I’d woken up this morning knowing that a change was coming.

He wouldn’t be with us much longer.

As I tucked our six year old into bed earlier tonight he’d told me his daddy had come to talk to him. Eric had told our son how much he loved him, how he’d give anything and everything to be with us now if he could, and he’d asked our son to look after me once he stopped coming around.

I’d been able to hold back my tears until I was done with our bedtime ritual and had reached the shower. Once I’d stepped under the warm flow of water I finally let them fall. I cried and cried until I was utterly spent.

Even with all our bullshit, I wouldn’t have traded a moment of when I was lucky enough to have my Eric with me. He was the love of my existence and I know that had we been given the chance, we would have been one of those little old couples feeding the birds in parks and holding hands continuously. Maybe my life hadn’t turned out the way I had wanted, but at least I’d always have a piece of my true love with me.

The greatest gift Eric had ever given me was our son, and there were no words to express my gratitude for him.

I climbed out of the shower and began to dry off. As I brushed my teeth I felt his presence appear. He smiled sadly at me, knowing our time was drawing to a close as well.

“I love you, Sook,” he mouthed.

I’d give everything I owned to hear his voice again, to feel his arms around me just once more. Well… outside of my dreams, that is.

But, no matter how much pain he was causing me by not crossing over, I’d never wish him away. Not really. And when he finally did go, I’d mourn him all over again.

It was a mess, and it was beyond heartbreaking… but long as he stuck around, Eric was immortal.

And if his ghost was all I’d ever have of him again, then that was as close to perfection as I’d ever get.

“I love you too, baby. Always,” I vowed to his reflection in the mirror as I wiped away a fresh round of tears. “Goodnight, my love. See you soon,” I said, and for the first time I wondered how true my nightly declaration still was.

I blew him a kiss before turning out the light and crawled into bed. My dreams were the only place we were truly happy together anymore, and I couldn’t wait to join Eric in them again tonight.

Someday, I’d be ready to move on.

Someday, I’d be content in the knowledge that I would see him again when my time on this earth was through.

Maybe, eventually, I’d even find love again in this lifetime.

But today was not that day.

Today, I was perfectly happy living with Eric’s ghost for as long as he remained with me.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

This story was inspired by the loss one of my dear friends experienced; the details are different, but the loss is the same. A wonderful love affair ended needlessly. She lost the love of her life to senseless score settling, and a wonderful man was gunned down in cold blood. She’s so strong to carry on after this loss, especially since he was coming home to her finally. Life is short my friends, cherish what you have while you have it!

Love and hugs to all!

Thanks for reading!

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4 thoughts on “My Immortal

  1. Reviews for My Immortal – copied from FF.net
    Gyllene 9/18/13 . chapter 1
    So sad!

    MrsASkarsgard 7/25/13 . chapter 1
    don’t like that Eric cheated on her twice. Hard to believe she could fall for him so hard and still be in love now. Would think that she would have protected herself more and been more practical after he died. I think that it is not as believable to love him this hard after he betrayed her 2 times.

    Shantigal 7/24/13 . chapter 1
    Tears, tears tears… Damn heartbreaking. At first I was pissed lol and then next minute I’m crying my heart out… Love love loved it

    ljhjelm49 7/23/13 . chapter 1
    Oh my I just can’t quit crying. You have out done yourself again.
    Linda

    Millarca666 7/23/13 . chapter 1
    How excruciatingly sad! Why on earth did I read this? *shakes head*
    Very well written, of course, Jen, but too sad. *sniffle*

    Citrus ‘n’ Cream 7/23/13 . chapter 1
    Why did Eric have to cheat? 😦 This story is good, but I would’ve liked it more if Eric didn’t cheat. I don’t like stories where he cheats because then his image is forever tarnished, he could cure cancer and climb Everest but I’d still dislike him for the simple reason that he couldn’t keep his dick in his pants. :-/

    VAlady 7/23/13 . chapter 1
    Lovely and sad. A reminder that we should never take anything for granted.

    fffbone 7/23/13 . chapter 1
    Oh now, that was just sad. Really good but sad.
    I wouldn’t kick out the ghost of my love either. It will happen when it happens.

    Guest 7/23/13 . chapter 1
    Another year, another IWTS entry using the obligatory My Immortal song as “inspiration”.

    marebare1979 7/23/13 . chapter 1
    How dare you woman! You made me cry, not nice. Okay I know I had the cry coming, I should have totally expected Eric to die but damn it I didn’t. Can’t anyone ever kill of Sookie (is that too harsh?). Excellent shortie, I liked that they didn’t have a perfect love story an there ups and downs were big. Great job darlin’ hope you do well in the contest.

    Perfecta999 7/23/13 . chapter 1
    Beautiful story. I was crying like a baby

  2. Oooo boy. That was an emotional one 😦 wanted to hit him for cheating but he was young and stupid, it happens. Sounds like he had finally matured nd wud have been an awesome husband and father. Thank u for posting x

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